Thursday, September 11, 2008

Ground Hog?

You can't tell from this picture but what you are looking at here is a ground hog the size of a 30 pound cat who has been living in a hole on the south side of our house. Now that I am looking at this picture I realize that what I really should have taken a photo of, or better yet a video of, was Wade roaming the neighborhood for over an hour with a huge Tupperware container and a broom handle chasing this guy. Now that was funny.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


Don’t eat the candy. Don’t eat the candy. This is what I have been telling myself all day and, frankly, it’s only working because I have a phobia of eating food out of the same bag that I have seen other people put their hands in and because the candy machine by my desk has crappy candy and I am too lazy to walk downstairs. I am not sure why I do this to myself. Wake up at 6 am, run for 50 minutes-cussing in my head the whole time about how much this sucks and how is it possible that my weekends fly past me like lightening but this one minute that I have been running high resistance/high incline feels like it has somehow lasted 6 months, come to work and eat a small breakfast, small lunch, have a piece of fruit for a snack and a handful of nuts, and by 4 pm I am drinking buckets of water and gallons of green tea trying to curb the hunger pain until finally I cave in and eat something that doesn’t really taste that good and pretty much negates a good 30 minutes of my morning workout. Afterwards I think to myself, Idiot you could have slept another half hour and not even gone to the gym if you just could stop yourself from eating that. And it doesn’t help that I am on my period right now and so bloated I look like I am 6 months along. Honestly, I am surprised no one has asked my due date.
According to the program I use to track my weight loss I have lost 18.6 pounds. Of course that it total rubbish because for my starting weight on the program I used my Mom’s scale which is always at least 5 pounds heavier than my scale which I used to get my most recent number. 13.6 is probably more like it. And you couldn’t tell it to look at me. Especially now with the water baby I am carrying. But I am not going to give up. I need to figure out something to do to curb my appetite a little and give my brain some relief from the constant “feed me” messages coming up from my stomach. And I probably need to start lifting weights. I know that I should be doing sit ups. I tried to get up from lying on my back the other day and looked like an upside-down bug-my arms flailing around rocking back and forth. After Wade helped me up I taught Henry to sing “Oh where oh where have my stomach muscles gone, oh where oh where can they be?” Yeah, that’s probably going to screw him up at preschool.
The characters I run into in the locker room every day at least keep that part of my morning workout interesting. There is the 40 something year old naked lady that insists on not putting on either her top or her bottoms while doing her hair and makeup. She has tried to make conversation with me twice now, both times while only wearing a small towel on her bottom half. I am sure she thought that I was insane because I barely blinked I was trying so hard to maintain eye contact. Then there is the 60+ year old woman that smells like cat litter and fried food and she comes in with more jewelry on then Lil Jon and her athletic pants pulled up to her armpits. Today I had to deal with two phobia’s—bare feet on gym floor and drains. I never let my feet touch the floor at the gym. I will put my pants on balancing on one leg for 10 minutes if it takes that long (sometimes I don’t dry off enough and have to deal with sticky legs) in order to avoid putting my bare foot on the floor. But actually now that I think about it pretty much any part of my body touching the floor grosses me out a little. I don’t even like for my shower/gym floor flip-flops to touch my sweat covered clothes. Well, today I forgot my flip-flops. I had a choice-shower barefoot or go to work covered in sweat. I almost chose the latter but then my sister Susie suggested that I keep my socks on. Which brings me to my second phobia-drains. I hate drains. I hate to clean them, I hate to touch them, just looking at them gives me the shivers. Especially if they are rusty, have any hair or any other kind of slimy stuff in them and if they are constantly under water. At the pool I will do just about anything to avoid the drain, including not swimming. So today in the gym, stocking feet and all, I went into my shower stall and turned on the water. I didn’t look at the drain, I try not to so I don’t get grossed out. The socks on my feet kept me from feeling the hair/water. The water that was all the way up to my ankles before I noticed it. A huge wad of hair, partially attached to the drain, blocking the water from draining out of the shower and partially wrapped around my foot. I yelped and ran out of the shower: wet, naked, except for socks of course, and with shampoo dripping down my back. Naked lady stared at me and she did not try to maintain eye contact. I think I might have to start going to the gym at a different time.

Monday, September 8, 2008

No complaints

We went to a beautiful wedding this weekend. It was raining and in the woods so some people complained but I didn’t really mind too much. My feet got dirty and I regretted wearing a favorite pair of heals, but it seemed like a small price to pay to be able to sit under the canopy and listen to the raindrops hit the leaves above us. The groom, my cousin Shawn, just bought the property this year. 20 acres with hills and woods and creeks. Wade and I barely spoke all evening, you know how weddings go, but when we did it was always “did you see that?” or “Oh I love this.” It was pretty much our dream setting. Henry played and got completely covered in mud and just had the best time. He is a kid that would do well in the country- boundless energy and an inspired imagination and a constant desire to help out…yeah, he just might be a country kid. Although, I learned in June that he is also a beach kid and I am pretty sure that he could be a big city kid, if given the chance, so I think the future looks pretty bright no matter what path our family takes.
Since our vacation we have been fairly one track minded---move to the beach—move to the beach—but our time in the country reminded us that maybe our focus is off. Maybe there is something that Lawrence could offer us that might keep us here. 20 acres of rolling prairie, yellow and purple wildflowers and the sound of raindrops on maple trees might just do it. The thing about Lawrence is that it is loaded with potential and I do think our family could thrive here. Most people are open and friendly. There are spaces that we could fill individually in this community; unique qualities and talents that we both possess that would be lost in a larger setting. And compared to the places we would like to move it is pretty inexpensive and we already have a house and decent jobs. My parents are close and there is something to be said for being in the middle of the country—everything in the US is just a few hours away on a plane. Besides, the affordability of Lawrence will make it so that we can travel more and see more beaches. Something we maybe could not do if we lived somewhere more expensive. It’s a major shift in our plan but the moment that we both realized it I could feel a calmness come over us, followed by hours of excitedly making plans. Living in the moment and being okay with where we are feels pretty amazing.

On Sunday we took a drive with the windows down to the sunflower field out North of town. The beauty of this time of year captivated me almost the whole trip and what was supposed to be a few minutes for husband and wife to chat more about our new plan, turned into a quiet confirmation for both of us that being here in this moment, in this town, with our little house and our little man, it’s pretty spectacular and it is where we need to be. True, there is no ocean. But there is a sea of yellow flowers out North. There is a field of orange pumpkins to the East. There is a hill with grazing cattle to the South and a purple and pink sunset to the West. And time moves here. From tank tops to sweaters. From sweaters to scarves and mittens. From mittens to raincoats. From raincoats to swimsuits and around and around again. I love feeling the passage of time in nature. I don’t know if I can honestly imagine my life without it.

Other bright spots in my weekend- we found out that my cousin Sean is coming home from Iraq early. End of October/early November. I got to spend Saturday morning getting a pedicure with Annie and we talked when we were supposed to be relaxing and laughed out loud when we should have been quiet and I had hoped we would do that because that is what we do and there are some things that I don’t ever want to change. I already have more to tell. Her visit was too short.