Monday, May 21, 2007
I love summer in Lawrence. Sure, it's insanely hot and there are days that I don't want to even walk outside, but that doesn't even matter when you get in your car and see that there is no traffic. No students! Hurrah! Right now I am sitting at my desk, in my apartment that faces Mass St. and there is no sound...no cars driving by, no sirens, no people yelling. Today I drove from one side of town to the other in 5 minutes. Impossible by school year standards. It's fabulous.
So, I told myself that I wouldn't post any more on this blog until I could get my grumpy ass up out of this funk. I said "No one wants to read your complaints. No one wants to listen to you whine. Lighten it up or go home." So, I'm trying. The fact of the matter is that I am still feeling like a bit of a grump. I think the whole moving thing has got to me a bit. Especially since we haven't really seemed to want to spend much time with the whole packing thing. The last time we moved we were literally packing the boxes as we carried them out the door, we can't do that this time. So, we need to get in gear. I can't wait to be in our new house. I have so many ideas for decorating. I am dreaming about what I am going to do to that kitchen. I am thinking white subway tiles and white cabinets and concrete counter tops. Last weekend we bought our first fridge. I think that officially makes us grown-ups. I used to think having a kid made you a grown up but I have since learned that some of the least grown up people have kids.
Okay, now I am getting a back scratchy. Gotta run. Ah.....
Sunday, May 13, 2007
It's a funny thing to have a kid. I remember sitting in the hospital room the day after Henry was born and feeling this uneasy feeling. It was the moment I realized that I would never again relax like I did before he was born. My Mom says that over time you worry less and less but right now that is hard for me to believe. I have a final I should be studying for but all I can do is worry about his rash, his cough, is he getting enough to eat?
I really feel like I should say, after my previous post, that my parents try so hard. In a way they try almost too hard. They love their children and they show us that every day. Today my Mom said to me "You are the light of my life". She's never said anything like that to me. It was nice. I guess all you can do in this journey is try to accept people for who they are, including your parents. We're all just doing the best we can do.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Laura -"Hey, we met with our bank this morning and got preapproved for our loan."
Dad- "Ginny would you pass me that salad dressing. Man this is good lettuce."
Mom-"Oh yeah it's from the merc."
Laura- "Hey, we made an offer on a house last week."
Mom- "Is that right? Well, I was going to tell you that I looked though the classified ads and there is a nice house for rent over on Prairie Road."
Laura- "We don't want to rent a house Mom."
Mom- "Don, would you pass the salad dressing, man this lettuce is good. It's from the Merc."
Then when the ignore technique doesn't work they do the fear tacktic. ..
Mom- "I read in the paper today that foreclosures are at an all time high right now."
Dad- "When you girls were little I had to work 3 jobs just to pay the bills. I missed out on everything because of all the time I spent at work."
Fear isn't working...next step, appear to be supportive while offering solutions they are more comfortable with...
Mom- "Laurie there is a house down the street that is for sale."
Laura- "Mom that house is way out of our price range."
Mom- "Oh really? It's small."
Laura- "I'm sure it's 4 bedrooms and your neighborhood is expensive. Besides, you know we like to be on the other side of town, close to downtown and KU and our jobs."
The next day-
Mom- "Wade did you see that place down the street."
Wade- "Yeah, it's too expensive."
Mom- "Oh, really? It's pretty small though."
Wade- "Yup, out of our price range."
The next day-
Dad- "Laurie did you see that house down the street?"
Mom- "Don, Wade says that house is out of their price range."
Dad- "Oh really? Huh. Seems small. Sure would nice to have Henry so close."
About two weeks after we made the offer on our house my Mom decided to let me show her the details of the house on-line. 2 weeks later we drove by. She was not that impressed and I was pretty sure she had already checked it out herself. That house fell through and the next one we made an offer on they liked even less- bad side of town, may have to get flood insurance, such a far drive to get to their house.... I am not sure if they think that we are going to not be able to pay the mortgage (the bank is generally pretty particular about who they give hundreds of thousands of dollars to but hey, what do they know?) or that something is going to break and they are going to have to bail us out, which has NEVER happened before and I will probably never know. Unless something does break and I have to ask them for help when I will certainly hear a very polite "I told you so".
So, the crap that they are pulling on Kelly right now is really upsetting for me because it is the same stuff that they did to me and it left me with some pretty serious emotional wounds that I am still trying to heal. Kelly is bright, beautiful, talented, kind, free spirited, open, loving, a great person and she deserves to have people in her life that have faith in her not manipulate her decisions so that they are the most like their decisions. My parents told me "If you major in textile design you will have no support from us whatsoever. We will take your car, not call you or talk to you, not help you with school, nothing." My Dad said "Get used to asking "Would you like fries with that?"" So, I floundered and tried to find a place for myself outside of what I really wanted. They are doing the same thing to Kelly. She is way more talented than I have ever been and it breaks my heart that they have this bright light here just needing a little guidance and support but they won't give it to her because it isn't the choices they would have made. It is so interesting, raise your children to think independently, appreciate art and music and strive for the best and then they turn into adults and you freak out, try to stifle them and fill their heads with doubt and insecurity. My Dad loves music but I married a musician, ehh gad, we'll be in the poor house for sure. Wade is such a committed father. He pays the bills AND he is there for Henry. He isn't missing it. My Dad is retired and he is still missing it.
I would love to know my parents and I would love for them to know me. I just don't know if they want that.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Here are a few conversations I have had today that are worth revisiting.
I told my “friend” today that I had awful car sickness this morning. She asked, “Could you be pregnant?” Before I could answer she smiled and said “do you even do that? I mean you have a kid and all….ha ha ha”. –This is not funny. Frankly, her problem is that she is 35 and has not had children because she takes horrible care of herself AND she has totally unrealistic expectations which destroy every relationship that she has ever been in. She claims to desperately want to have a family but cannot find the time. Right….I bet 10 bucks I am getting more than she is.
I told that same friend that people were giving us strange looks at the park this weekend. She told me that she would stare at him too because he has a huge bruise on his forehead and people probably think we are beating him up. I said “Not if they have a toddler…and if they are at the park you would think that if they don’t currently have a toddler that they must have had one a few years ago or they are just weirdos at the park without and kids and in that case I really couldn’t give two shits about what they think about me.” Why am I still talking to this person you may ask…well you’ll really wonder that after this story…
Same friend oh about 2 years ago Laura -"I'm pregnant!" Friend-“Well Laura now you are going to have to be prepared for the possibility that one of Henry’s friends parents is going to see that Wade is black and they are not going to want their kid to play with Henry anymore.” I said nothing. She said “I’m serious, it will happen.” “Well,” I said “I suppose if Henry had a friend with parents like that I would prefer that Henry not play with that child anyway…gotta run…bye.”
We have had many comments about our multi-racial union since the moment Wade and I started dating. They seem to grow in frequency during major milestones in our life together.
Us- “We’re getting married….” Someone else-“Well what are you going to teach your children?”
Us- "We’re having a baby….” Someone else- “Oh, he will be so cute. What are you going to teach him?”
After a while…..
Us- “We’re having a baby…and we already know what we are going to teach him.” Someone else- “Oh good, I am glad you thought of that. So, what are you going to teach him?”
Us- “Here is a picture of our baby…” Someone else-“Oh he is so pale.” Someone else-“He doesn’t look a thing like Wade.” Someone else, trying to be more subtle-“Wow look at that blond hair. I thought blue eyes were recessive. Interesting (glace and friends)”. Me-“Wade is biracial you idiot and his Dad has bright blue eyes and all his brothers are sisters had blond hair.” You can kiss it!
Us-"Wade graduated from KU" Someone else-"Good, it is important for minorities to get higher education. Are you going move now because you really should think about where you are going to move...you know what I mean?"
Us- “We’re buying a house…” Someone else- “Where are you buying it? Because you guys need to pick your neighborhood carefully…you know what I mean?”
More conversations to come…stay tuned.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
I am in possession of a cheque to pay you for something. Since I am informed that Her Royal Majesty's Royal Mail (who would otherwise deliver it next day) would have to pass the letter to the american mail service I am advised to use a courier company. The courier companies we use insist that we do not use PO Boxes on the address. A google search on your web-site shows it as unobtainable-so I could not get a telephone number in order to call you and clarify your address. When I contacted Bristish Telecom’s International Directory Enquiries they informed me that there was no listing for you. You are an exceedingly difficult organization to communicate with.
For this reason I am writing to you, entrusting my letter to the excellent next day services of Her Royal Majesty’s Royal Mail. Of course upon arrival in america, I expect that the letter will be passed on to the american mail services and I have no idea how long it will take to arrive at your secretive location.
When it does please could you write to me giving me your proper postal address, that is-one that gives an actual road and No. of your building and not a PO Box. I will then be able to send you the, quite considerable, cheque that I have for you.
Yours in great expectation,
Dr. M H
(Perhaps the choices your countrymen made in 1779 were overhasty(!))
Of course, I noticed that this guy has not capitalized America once and he is clearly not a big fan of the ole US of A, and that sort of sucks. I feel like telling him that we are not all so bad, but my guess is that he is old and crusty and not worth the effort. Also, he did not give me any contact information other than his mailing address, if he wanted for me to get in touch with him so badly why not give me an email address or phone number? Whatever, I'll write him back today and try to find some sneaky way to slip in that he is a jerk.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
I just called him to say that I am an ass hole.
He's a good guy...
but he really was being a jerk. ;)
My freshman year I had an English teacher that did not like me, maybe it was because I could pass his exams and write his “challenge essay assignments” without attending class, whatever the reason he failed me. I tried to make an appointment to meet with him about my grade after I got my grade card but he wouldn’t answer his phone. I contacted the department and made an appointment to speak with one of the head office folks in the English department. I came in with my papers and exams and my calculation of my grade, an 89%. The woman told me that my teacher, his name was Vincent, had decided half way though the semester that too many people were skipping class and so he told the class that he was going to start taking off a half a letter grade for each absence. “You must have missed that day” she said. I saw Vincent on campus the following year and he ran from me...I am not kidding, he ran from me!
This semester I had a teacher berate me on an essay question on my first exam. She wrote things like “What are you talking about?” “You really should have taken genetics class before this class” (genetics is not a prerequisite for my class, by the way) and “I don’t even know what you are thinking”. But by far and away the most egregious department on the campus is the parking department. This year it cost 85 dollars a semester to park at the University of Kansas. Well, actually, it is $85.00 a semester just to be given the opportunity to look for a parking spot at the University of Kansas. $85.00 to practice your slow-driving-while-following-students-walking-through-the-parking-lot skills. Since I am only taking one class a semester I figured I would bypass the parking pass nightmare and use the meters. I figured it is $1.50 for an hour and a half, class is an hour and 15 minutes twice a week for 15 weeks that’s….$45.00, what a deal! Well, today, I got a ticket. My teacher lectured for an extra two minutes, according to the clock in her classroom. I scrambled down the hill as fast as my slippery flip-flops would carry me and I missed the parking lady by 4 cars. This is the second time this has happened to me this semester. That’s $40.00.
I should have gotten a parking sticker.