Dear Sir/Madam

This is a letter I received at work today. It made me chuckle.


Dear Sir/Madam,
I am in possession of a cheque to pay you for something. Since I am informed that Her Royal Majesty's Royal Mail (who would otherwise deliver it next day) would have to pass the letter to the american mail service I am advised to use a courier company. The courier companies we use insist that we do not use PO Boxes on the address. A google search on your web-site shows it as unobtainable-so I could not get a telephone number in order to call you and clarify your address. When I contacted Bristish Telecom’s International Directory Enquiries they informed me that there was no listing for you. You are an exceedingly difficult organization to communicate with.
For this reason I am writing to you, entrusting my letter to the excellent next day services of Her Royal Majesty’s Royal Mail. Of course upon arrival in america, I expect that the letter will be passed on to the american mail services and I have no idea how long it will take to arrive at your secretive location.
When it does please could you write to me giving me your proper postal address, that is-one that gives an actual road and No. of your building and not a PO Box. I will then be able to send you the, quite considerable, cheque that I have for you.

Yours in great expectation,


Dr. M H
(Perhaps the choices your countrymen made in 1779 were overhasty(!))


Of course, I noticed that this guy has not capitalized America once and he is clearly not a big fan of the ole US of A, and that sort of sucks. I feel like telling him that we are not all so bad, but my guess is that he is old and crusty and not worth the effort. Also, he did not give me any contact information other than his mailing address, if he wanted for me to get in touch with him so badly why not give me an email address or phone number? Whatever, I'll write him back today and try to find some sneaky way to slip in that he is a jerk.