Thursday, January 31, 2008


Hi Guys. So, you’ve maybe noticed that I haven’t been posting much lately. I have been feeling a little disinterested in my blog. It seems to fill this ambiguous space for me. I have a lot going on right now and I would love to have an outlet to discuss it…but I also have this disabling concern for other people’s feelings and it is keeping me from talking about many of the things that I have been thinking about. I feel like my blog is not really a total representation of me. I mean, it is a blog so it isn’t every going to be a TOTAL representation of me but I really don’t want it to be devoid of me entirely. When I first started looking at blogs I mentioned to Wade how inspirational many of them are and I told him that looking at these blogs sometimes made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough. He said “People can be whatever they want to be online. Don’t let it make you feel bad. It is just a snapshot of someone else’s life and they can make it whatever they want it to be. It isn’t real.” Well….I don’t want my blog to be that. So, I have been thinking of deleting it.
But, at the same time I have a few friends that have blogs and I have convinced my sisters to have blogs and I am always so excited when they post on their blogs so I feel like there might be a handful of people that feel the same way about my blog.

So this is my warning to you. I am going to change things up a bit. I am probably going to talk about touchier subjects. I’ll probably discuss animal rights, veganism, environmental responsibility, politics….etc. If you are sensitive about your hamburger then you will probably not want to read my blog. I am not saying that it is going to be all serious all the time. I’m sure I’ll still post about my cupcakes and my little Bean and do mosaics….all that good stuff. I am just saying that I am going to be more honest about what is going on with me. I need to have a little more integrity with this blog; otherwise it is just a waste of my time. If you're not feeling it then don't read it. I will not be offended.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The news about Heath Ledger...

has made me really sad. I have always had a soft spot for him and his family. He seemed like such a genuine guy.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Paper Flowers

I love paper flowers. Back in 2001, when I was planning my wedding, I made a ton of paper flowers. I wanted to use them for my bouquets and centerpieces. I wanted to put them in my hair and in my bridesmaids hair....but after days and days of work I realized that I just didn't have the time to make that many flowers. This year Henry and I made paper poinsettias which turned pretty nice and would have probably made lovely centerpieces for a winter wedding. It took a while but not as long as my efforts years ago. I think I might use the same idea to make some white and light green flowers to fill the beautiful white ceramic pitcher that my parents gave me for Christmas.

Things that make me happy Thursday

I asked my coworker what her New Years Resolution is, she said she doesn't believe in resolutions because she never keeps them anyway. I said, yeah but just because you fail at something doesn't mean that you should stop trying. Resolving to live a better life by flossing your teeth or losing weight or eating more vegetables is something that people should do all the time, not just once a year. I felt a little sad for my coworker because I am pretty sure that she is not doing anything to actively make her life better, she is just going along with things as they are. A scary notion for me. I firmly believe that your life is what you make of it. If you make no effort and take no risks for yourself then in the end the only thing steering your course is what other people do to you. An even scarier notion.

My New Years Resolution list is long and lovely and full of hope and promise for this journey I am on called LAURA KELLY'S ONE LIFE. I've got some stuff I'll share but most of it I think I'll keep for myself.

This holiday season has really been an eye-opening experience for me. I’ll spare you the details and just say that in the end I have realized quite a bit about myself and my family. There have been disappointing and lonely moments but I am looking at it as a much needed push towards a more organized, independent and thoughtful life. And all of these recent discoveries have come just in time for New Years Resolutions, which may just give me the much needed boost for some positive change.

It is the end of year and in an accounting office that means crazy hours, stress headaches, not taking lunch breaks and doing a lot of complaining. A few of my resolutions center around my experience at work, which is important to me because I spend most of my time at work. I do not really feel a deep connection to my coworkers, but that is okay because it is a job, not a social gathering. My goals this year for my job are to not let myself get stressed out by it {it’s a job in a billing office….not worth the kind of emotional energy I am currently putting into it}. To not be such a pushover with people {it is shocking to me to look at my workload in comparison to everyone else. It would seem like the pay out for hard work is more work, but in many ways I bring it onto myself by not speaking up about the imbalance}. And, lastly, stop participating in office politics and gossip. I feel best about myself when I come to work, do what I am supposed to do, meet my deadlines, stay focused, am friendly and positive, and do a good job.

Another very important goal for 2008 is to work on my relationships- foster some new friendships, to strengthen some that I value and have let slide and remove myself from the ones that are not fulfilling and leave me feeling frustrated and exhausted (I have many of those). This is going to be SUPER hard for me because A) I have no free time. B) I have a slight fear of commitment when it comes to friendships. Too many people have let me down in the past (hence the multiple frustrating and exhausting friendships resolution). C) I am not good at putting up boundaries without just completely cutting people off. In some cases I think I should just cut people off, and actually this fall I did that with two friendships that were NOT working for me. I felt and still feel a little guilty about it, but I try to remind myself that I do not have to like everyone and everyone does not have to like me.

Of course, losing weight/being healthy is high up on my list for 2008. I am really feeling the pressure now because this year we are going to the beach and I want to feel good in my swimsuit and be comfortable on a long road trip. I feel good about the healthy part. Since starting this plant-based diet my energy level is up, my skin is clearer, my hair is shinier, I don’t have heartburn anymore, and I don’t crash after every meal. I need to exercise though, so starting on Monday I am going to the gym in the morning. Before I got pregnant I exercised every day, then I hit my first trimester and pretty much slept and threw up all day….I felt good working out and while working out every day is not really an option given my busy schedule, I think I can fit it in 4 days a week, and that will do for now.

What about you? What do you want for yourself in 2008?