Thursday, January 3, 2008

Things that make me happy Thursday

I asked my coworker what her New Years Resolution is, she said she doesn't believe in resolutions because she never keeps them anyway. I said, yeah but just because you fail at something doesn't mean that you should stop trying. Resolving to live a better life by flossing your teeth or losing weight or eating more vegetables is something that people should do all the time, not just once a year. I felt a little sad for my coworker because I am pretty sure that she is not doing anything to actively make her life better, she is just going along with things as they are. A scary notion for me. I firmly believe that your life is what you make of it. If you make no effort and take no risks for yourself then in the end the only thing steering your course is what other people do to you. An even scarier notion.

My New Years Resolution list is long and lovely and full of hope and promise for this journey I am on called LAURA KELLY'S ONE LIFE. I've got some stuff I'll share but most of it I think I'll keep for myself.

This holiday season has really been an eye-opening experience for me. I’ll spare you the details and just say that in the end I have realized quite a bit about myself and my family. There have been disappointing and lonely moments but I am looking at it as a much needed push towards a more organized, independent and thoughtful life. And all of these recent discoveries have come just in time for New Years Resolutions, which may just give me the much needed boost for some positive change.

It is the end of year and in an accounting office that means crazy hours, stress headaches, not taking lunch breaks and doing a lot of complaining. A few of my resolutions center around my experience at work, which is important to me because I spend most of my time at work. I do not really feel a deep connection to my coworkers, but that is okay because it is a job, not a social gathering. My goals this year for my job are to not let myself get stressed out by it {it’s a job in a billing office….not worth the kind of emotional energy I am currently putting into it}. To not be such a pushover with people {it is shocking to me to look at my workload in comparison to everyone else. It would seem like the pay out for hard work is more work, but in many ways I bring it onto myself by not speaking up about the imbalance}. And, lastly, stop participating in office politics and gossip. I feel best about myself when I come to work, do what I am supposed to do, meet my deadlines, stay focused, am friendly and positive, and do a good job.

Another very important goal for 2008 is to work on my relationships- foster some new friendships, to strengthen some that I value and have let slide and remove myself from the ones that are not fulfilling and leave me feeling frustrated and exhausted (I have many of those). This is going to be SUPER hard for me because A) I have no free time. B) I have a slight fear of commitment when it comes to friendships. Too many people have let me down in the past (hence the multiple frustrating and exhausting friendships resolution). C) I am not good at putting up boundaries without just completely cutting people off. In some cases I think I should just cut people off, and actually this fall I did that with two friendships that were NOT working for me. I felt and still feel a little guilty about it, but I try to remind myself that I do not have to like everyone and everyone does not have to like me.

Of course, losing weight/being healthy is high up on my list for 2008. I am really feeling the pressure now because this year we are going to the beach and I want to feel good in my swimsuit and be comfortable on a long road trip. I feel good about the healthy part. Since starting this plant-based diet my energy level is up, my skin is clearer, my hair is shinier, I don’t have heartburn anymore, and I don’t crash after every meal. I need to exercise though, so starting on Monday I am going to the gym in the morning. Before I got pregnant I exercised every day, then I hit my first trimester and pretty much slept and threw up all day….I felt good working out and while working out every day is not really an option given my busy schedule, I think I can fit it in 4 days a week, and that will do for now.

What about you? What do you want for yourself in 2008?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I think those are all good resolutions.

I have many resolutions but was feeling cliche at the thought of venting, expressing, deliberating out loud about my convictions toward them.

I think you are a brave person. You are more honest with the outside world than I am able to be.

My resolutions are very similar to your own. I have a tendency to be particularly hard on myself--much harder on myself than I am on other people. I would like to take care of myself this year! Period. Everything I want relates to that, all my goals! I think everything else will fall into place. good people, good food, good attitude, it's all good to myself!

Happy New Year! 2008 is a nice solid, even, and infinite year! Lots of love, I am glad you continue to change...to grow. It makes you grand!