Saturday, October 31, 2009

Next please

I am very close to finishing school, 3 classes to be exact. And I think for a lot of people finishing school the next step would be grab that degree and run out into the job market determined to put all their years of hard work to good use. I, however, do not have that ambition. I have no plans to use my degree. Let’s just be totally honest, I have no desire to use my degree. My degree is quite simply a symbol of A) my stubbornness B) my desire to please my father. That’s it. I like Biology, it’s interesting and fun, but I do not want to spend my time looking in a microscope or taking soil samples. Sorry.

Here is the problem. That sucks. I hate it. Because I would much rather say that 12 years of school and thousands of dollars in student loan debt led me to my dream work scenario. I thought when I went back to school in 2002 that finishing school would feel like a major accomplishment but frankly I can’t get over how long it took, how much it cost, and how it really isn’t what I wanted in the first place. If I was 22 and graduating I would say “Screw it” and I would go ahead and follow my heart. I would chalk it up to a good experience, knowledge gained, something I can be proud of and then look for what is next, search out what is really in my heart. But at 32 that feels kinda like something kids do. At 32 it feels like time to get my shit together…like yesterday.

I realize that is no way to live. I realize that if I don’t give myself the same options that I would have given myself 10 years ago then I am just signing up to never get to do anything that I actually want to do. So, I’ll veto that and I’ll try to forget my number (32 32 32 32 32…okay, that got it out of my system). And in the spirit of new opportunities and taking chances and following your heart no matter what your past looks like, no matter how sad and unproductive I have been up to this point, I will make a list of things that I love and then, maybe if I stare at it long enough, I can find the courage to do something with it-
I like

To cook:
Fresh food
Fresh baked bread

To grow:

To make:
Paper flowers

I like:

What can I do with this information? Well…just free form ideas here…

A bakery.
A café.
Chef school.
Grow my own succulents and sell them at the famers market or online
A cupcake shop
Make homemade sewn or embroidered goods to sell on etsy

That’s all I have for now. It’s something, right? I will leave you with some photos that inspire me. I can’t take credit for them but some of them I can’t give credit for either because I saved them years ago. Blog faux pas, I know. Love me anyway.