Won't ya be my neighbor

So, I am getting to know our neighbors and little and finding that home ownership is more than just the occasional panic attack about the air conditioner breaking.

So far our neighbors to the west have been pretty friendly. The woman is really chatty with Wade and he is cracking me up. He'll go outside to mow and then come back in and say, "So Janet, three houses down, no kids, never been married. She takes care of her lawn like nobody's business." Can you imagine, Wade filling me in on the neighborhood gossip??....it's hysterical. I am not as chummy with our neighbor because I get a different vibe from her then Wade does. The first time I met her she was with her husband and I could totally tell he was not thrilled about his new neighbors. Maybe it was the ugly van in our driveway, maybe it was the fact that Wade loaded into our house enough band equipment to amp up the half time show at the Superbowl or maybe it was the interracial thing (I hate to go there but of course, I always do) but I could tell he wasn't sure about us. What the hell man? We are super cool neighbors. At my last apartment we basically fed two of our upstairs neighbors dinner every other night. We always had leftovers and they were just single folks and I know how much it sucks to try to cook for one person, so we would just throw a Tupperware dish their way in the evening. Whatevs....I'm not stressing over it. Oh, and I am pretty sure they are religious, which now-a-days automatically puts a bad taste in my mouth. The other day she told me "During the last tornado we were scared as all get out (huh?) and then I found out it wasn't even a tornado, just a microburst. I asked my husband "What the H E double hockey sticks?"" How can I possibly be expected to be neighborly with someone that won't use the word hell? My priest in grade school used the word hell...give me a break! Besides, cussing is mandatory for all my friends. I have a one F-bomb a week minimum. (Plus I'm pretty sure I saw a Bush sticker (sickos) on their SUV (double sickos). )

Our neighbor to the north, super nice, keeps to himself, came over and introduced himself.

Our neighbor to the east hasn't said a word to us. This is what I have gathered so far--drives a truck with a decal of a smiley face flipping you off, makes his slightly overweight 10 year old son mow his lawn everyday, goes out on his fishing boat or stays in his garage most of the time, watches us through his lace living room curtains, doesn't realize that he is back-lit by his kitchen window so we can see him watching us through his living room curtains, not smart (that last one is really more of a judgement call than an observation).

Our neighbors to the south are a biracial couple (yay!). The Dad is obsessed with his lawn and when we mowed our lawn which happens to be 90% weeds he went around with the Round Up immediately after we went inside. Seriously, what is it with middle aged men and their lawns? It's insane. The wife apparently thinks that she has a quiet voice and that no one is up before 9 am because she likes to walk back and forth on her driveway in the mornings and gossip about her friends and family in her skimpy nightgowns. Last Tuesday I swear I saw a nipple as I watched her through my lace curtains...just kidding, I don't own lace curtains (but I can see through my cotton ones quite nicely).

Oh, and on a different note, my friends Tracy assures me that my attraction to the royals is perfectly normal and not creepy at all. Of course I am pretty sure he has deflowered most of the young men in Korea so I am not sure if his opinion can be trusted.

**By the way, I don't actually say "whatevs" in real life. I just read it on one of my favorite blogs and thought it was funny so I use it here. I thought I better mention that, my husband was concerned when he read it. And I really don't dislike all religious people, just the judgemental pushy ones that come to my door when I am having dinner and ask if I go to church.