Thursday, June 4, 2009

Perspective

Henry is turning into such a big boy now. He is my light and the happiest part of every day. Watching him change over the past 3 years has been so incredible. That he understands what I say and I can have a conversation with him about almost anything is so amazing. He comforted me last week, when I was feeling sad. He hugged me and said “It’s okay baby.” This is a person that 2 years ago was just learning to speak and walk. Getting older is strange. You gain this wonderful perspective of how special and glorious your life is. You realize that every single day is precious. But at the same time, you only get that perspective from the knowledge that time is passing and that your life is not forever. It is a bittersweet truth and I have felt it's heaviness the past few years. The only way that I can come to terms with it is to try my hardest to enjoy every day. To never wish for the weekend on a Monday. To close my eyes and feel the breeze. To smell the flowers and hug my babies and laugh with my parents and focus on the moment as much as I possibly can. I am not always good at it. There are days that I feel sad that I am getting older. And that people around me are getting older. But every second that I think about that is a second that I am not here with them. So I remind myself at the end of the day that even a mundane day with nothing special happening is still something special. It is a day that when I am old I will be glad that I had, and a day that I will wish I could do again.

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