Laura

Okay, so I am midway though this weeks This American Life and I have to talk about it. It's about the 3 kinds of deception-basically some people are born to deceive, some achieve deception, and some have deception thrust upon them. The last story, that I haven't gotten to yet is David Sedaris whom I LOVE so I had to get over the second story to be able to move on to his story. The second story, the one I have to get over, is about a Harvard educated black man (a lawyer) who wants to have the experience of being part of a private club. Under most circumstances you would think that he would have the money and the credentials to be part of the club but this club really only accepts white people (although they will not openly admit it). So, to see what it is all about he applies to be a waiter. After 3 phone interviews they hire him as a waiter but once he arrives and they realize he is black they move to him a bus boy. The hard part for me to listen to was, well the whole thing, but the worst part was how condescending the members were to him and how openly they would make racial comments right in his face and then snap at him to come over and refill their luke warm coffee. In the end he quit, of course, and I wish he would sue the pants off of them but I think since it is a private club he really can't do that. Larry (the bus boy/lawyer) told Ira (the host) that he didn't think that the people making all those awful comments, including use of the N word--which is totally disgusting and, for me, a deal breaker--when I hear someone say that word or if I know that they associate with someone that uses that word they immediately loose my respect. But that is a whole different post..like I was saying, those people making those comments did not think that they were racist. How ignorant is that? I mean you have to be super ignorant to make those comments in the first place, I don't care how much money you have, but then to claim you're not racist! It's insane. And I got the impression that there are a lot of clubs out there like this one which totally shocked me. I had no idea.
This weekend we had a run in with a woman who would probably claim to not be racist but we certainly thought she was. Here's the scenario. Wade, Henry and I are out at breakfast eating on the patio. A couple comes and wants to sit outside so rather than waiting inside where everyone else waits they stand over us and comment on our moves--"Oh, this table here just got their ticket, they'll be leaving soon" "Well, they are just sitting there drinking their coffee, they should have given up their table by now..." It was funny because there were 4 tables on the patio and we all sat there probably longer than we normally would have because these people were being so rude. In the end Henry got antsy so we had to leave. They took our seats before we walked away from the table. I'm not kidding, the guy sat down while I was cleaning Henry's face and he started wiping off our crumbs with our used napkins with a totally disgusted look on his face. The woman, middle aged, Tammy Fae makeup, perfume so strong you could smell it over the bacon said to me "Oh what a cute child. Look at that curly blond hair!" I started to say thanks but she kept going "BLOND hair! So cute. Is he your son then?" And she glanced at Wade. I said "Yes, he is our son" and walked away thinking--she was standing over us for a half hour, she heard us say Mama and Papa at least a dozen times. She had to have heard Henry call Wade Papa several times...give me a break. Now that dumb-ass lady probably wouldn't have considered herself a racist but you know there are the folks at the all white club using the N word who are unarguably racist and then there are those people who are just painfully aware of the race of other people and in my book they are racist too. That lady really got to me. And as the day went on and I continued to stew over it I got to thinking, what on earth made her think that it was any of her business anyway! I didn't ask her if that was her husband, or if she sued the salon that stuck those enormous pieces of plastic on her finger nails. And so I decided that I am going to come up with a canned response for those comments (we get them all the time). Either something like No he's not my son but don't tell anyone or He is actually a love child from a secret affair with your husband or that is none of your fucking business.

So, there you go....I got it of my chest. Now I can have some good laughs with Mr. Sedaris. Oh, and if you haven't listened to TAL for this week the link is in my Daily Dose column below...check it out.