My birthday is only 5 months away

I have a perfectly good bike, a mountain bike with a seat the size of a Q-tip. When I got my bike 10 years ago for my high school graduation my rear end was, ehhh, about half the size it is now. I loved it, I rode the bike trails on it and all around town. In fact, the semester that I lived up on KU I rode that bike every day. But now, given my butt expansion, it is a little different situation. Basically, when I ride the bike people pass me and wonder "How does she ride that bike without a seat?" And I gotta say, besides the embarrassment of my ass envelope the entire seat, riding on that tiny hard little triangle is not very comfortable. We basically finish every ride with Wade saying "So, does your ass hurt already?" And it does, after only a few seconds on the bike it does... For those reasons, and the shear bad-assness of the bike below that I have decided I need a new bike. A bike like this. With a huge seat with springs underneath it, white washed tires, handlebars that are practically arm rests, oh, and orange. In fact, the only thing this bike is missing is a basket. So there it is. My birthday wish-an orange beach cruiser bike with a basket. I will even take a used bike that meets these very few requirements, I'm not picky. Oh, and I really need one of these too.................you know, for the cupcakes that I like to make after a long bike ride.