I've realized something

Recently I have discovered that I am not the person to go to for decorating decisions. I base this observation on the fact that I have now painted my dining room chairs 4 different colors, changed my curtains in the living room twice, and have been flip-flopping on the paint colors for my living room and dining room for so long now that Wade refuses to indulge me in any converstation over paint swatches. He says "Do whatever you want babe. Just give me the roller and I'll go."
My front door is also an excellent example. My first thought was to paint it orange because that is my favorite color. I recognize that orange is most people's least favorite color, which really only makes me like it more. Anyway, then I thought black. My sister has a black door and it looks great. Wade gives it a "whant-waaaaa" vote but I dunno, I kinda dig it. Hot pink is obviously the choice of our smallest and most vocal family member. I leaning, umm, away from hot pink, but I am surprised by how good it actually looks. If I could pull it off I would. But I can't. Then there is green, which works in this pic but I think would suck with the green grass (aka weeds that are also green) and the red is nice but red doors are kinda all over all neighborhood, so I am thinking no on that. Blue is Wade's choice, but his vote only half counts because I think he just picked it because he likes to argue with me. Besides, what does he know about design and color choice...wait...scratch that...go back to my previous arguing point and pay no attention to his degree in art or his employment as a designer.
Anyway, my house is brown and it's going to stay brown until I find the time to paint the whole thing orange!!!!! WHOO-HOOO. But until that time the purplish/mate finish door has to go. What say you blog friends?

Bringing it back....

Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


Today, I love:
Snuggling with my hubby at 6 am.
Finding Henry this morning, in the living room with his blanket and ugly doll sitting on the floor petting our cat. He said “Mama, I think he really likes me now. He purring and that means he likes me.”
Drinking coffee and listening to NPR.

Next please

I am very close to finishing school, 3 classes to be exact. And I think for a lot of people finishing school the next step would be grab that degree and run out into the job market determined to put all their years of hard work to good use. I, however, do not have that ambition. I have no plans to use my degree. Let’s just be totally honest, I have no desire to use my degree. My degree is quite simply a symbol of A) my stubbornness B) my desire to please my father. That’s it. I like Biology, it’s interesting and fun, but I do not want to spend my time looking in a microscope or taking soil samples. Sorry.

Here is the problem. That sucks. I hate it. Because I would much rather say that 12 years of school and thousands of dollars in student loan debt led me to my dream work scenario. I thought when I went back to school in 2002 that finishing school would feel like a major accomplishment but frankly I can’t get over how long it took, how much it cost, and how it really isn’t what I wanted in the first place. If I was 22 and graduating I would say “Screw it” and I would go ahead and follow my heart. I would chalk it up to a good experience, knowledge gained, something I can be proud of and then look for what is next, search out what is really in my heart. But at 32 that feels kinda like something kids do. At 32 it feels like time to get my shit together…like yesterday.

I realize that is no way to live. I realize that if I don’t give myself the same options that I would have given myself 10 years ago then I am just signing up to never get to do anything that I actually want to do. So, I’ll veto that and I’ll try to forget my number (32 32 32 32 32…okay, that got it out of my system). And in the spirit of new opportunities and taking chances and following your heart no matter what your past looks like, no matter how sad and unproductive I have been up to this point, I will make a list of things that I love and then, maybe if I stare at it long enough, I can find the courage to do something with it-
I like

To cook:
Cupcakes
Fresh food
Compassionately
Fresh baked bread
Cookies

To grow:
Succulents
Vegetables
Flowers

To make:
Embroidery
Paper flowers
Sew

I like:
Photography
Vintage
Polaroid
Sunshine

What can I do with this information? Well…just free form ideas here…

A bakery.
A café.
Chef school.
Grow my own succulents and sell them at the famers market or online
A cupcake shop
Make homemade sewn or embroidered goods to sell on etsy

That’s all I have for now. It’s something, right? I will leave you with some photos that inspire me. I can’t take credit for them but some of them I can’t give credit for either because I saved them years ago. Blog faux pas, I know. Love me anyway.

Chilly or is it Chili?

This cool weather has me in “hunker down and wear sweaters and eat chili” mode. And much to my delight I have 2 AWESOME chili recipes that will make you feel warm and snuggly from the inside out. One is quick and easy, the other requires a bit more chopping, but is totally worth the effort.

Three Bean Chili
Serves 6
INGREDIENTS:
1 orange bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 yellow bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 yellow onion, coarsely chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
2 tablespoons chili powder
3 medium tomatoes, peeled and chopped (or one 16-ounce can of tomato sauce)
1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup of dry quinoa
Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
Water or tomato juice as needed
½ cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves or fresh parsley (optional)

DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat up the oil in a heavy 4-quart saucepan over medium heat. You could just use water instead, but I like to add a little fat for flavor.
2. Add the bell peppers, onion, garlic, oregano, and chili powder, cayenne, coriander, and cumin, and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes.
3. Stir in the tomatoes and all the beans, and bring to a boil. Add a little water as needed.
4. Lower the heat and simmer for 30 minutes, adding water or tomato juice as needed if too much liquid evaporates.
5. While the beans cook make the quinoa. First rinse it several times, until the water runs pretty clear. Then bowl 1 cup water and add the quinoa to it. Put a lid on it and lower the heat (basically do just the same as cooking rice). It should be done in about 20 minutes, but check occasionally and if the water is gone then the quinoa is ready.
6. Stir the cooked quinoa into the bean mixture. Add as much as you want. If you like a more soupy chili, add less, if you like a thick chili, add more. Save any leftovers, you can use them later in the week. Season with salt and black pepper, and stir in the cilantro or parsley. Enjoy.

Serving suggestions and variations:
*You can obviously use any color variation of bell pepper; the more color variety, the prettier the dish is. Same goes for the beans. You can use all black or white (Navy, Great Northern, etc.) instead of pinto. It’s really up to you, your preferences, and what you have on hand.
*Add more cayenne and chili powder to make it hotter.
*Serve with different color tortilla chips: white, red, and black/blue. Or my favorite way which is covered in Fritos and sliced avocado. Yum!

White Chili
Serves 6
INGREDIENTS
1 can of black beans
1 can of Navy beans (or Northern beans)
1 veggie bullion cube
2 tsps extra virgin olive oil
2 or 3 stalks of chopped celery
1 or 2 chopped carrots (3/4 of a cup, or so)
1 small onion, chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 cups of water
1 small can of chopped green peppers
1 tsp cumin
A shake or 2 of oregano
Salt and pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
Heat up the oil. Add the celery, carrots, onion and garlic. Stir until the onions are translucent, about 5 minutes.
Add 2 cups of water and the veggie bullion cube, bring it to a boil and then reduce the heat and put a lid on it. Let it cook for 5 or 10 minutes, checking occasionally to see if the celery and carrots are softening.
Take a 1 cup measuring cup and dip it into the mixture , scoop about ½ cup of the liquid from the pot (try not to pick up any of the veggies if you can and watch your fingers, it will be hot)
Pour out the rest of the mixture (I just strain it) and add the ½ cup of liquid back to the pot with the veggies.
Add the cumin and oregano
Strain and rise the black beans. Add them to the mixture
Add the Navy beans and the can of green chili’s to the mixture (don’t drain the beans or the chilis)
Bring the mixture to a boil and add salt and pepper as needed
Serving suggestions and variations:
*You can change this up in so many ways. Adding bell peppers or corn or red pepper flakes for more heat.
*Serve with Fritos or tortilla chips and sliced avocado. It is deeelish.

Tommies

Quick, grab some fresh tomatoes from the garden (or sneak into the neighbors garden) and make this for dinner-

Roasted Tomato Spicy Pasta
2 lbs of heirloom, pear, or cherry tomatoes, cut into the same size pieces
1/4 olive oil
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (or more if you like spice)
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
6 cloves of garlic chopped
1/4 cup freshly chopped basil leaves
1 teaspoon minced fresh oregano leaves
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 black pepper
1/2 lbs angel hair pasta
Garlic bread

Mix the olive oil, tomatoes, red pepper flakes, garlic, vinegar, salt and pepper in a glass casserole dish. Roast at 350 for 40-45 minutes, stirring a couple of times.

Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Add the roasted tomatoes to the pasta, add the basil and oregano. Dig in.

Joyful pile up

My horoscope in the UDK today said "Don't start another project, finish the one you already started and it may be lucrative". Pahhleese! I feel like they don't even know me. :)
I did actually finish a project over the weekend. I got to sit in my little spot next to the window and feel the breeze and my little helper and I finished his apron. He wanted a semi-truck (he calls it a Sam-eye Truck) on the front instead of a train. We found some old buttons to use as the wheels. It turned out pretty good. It looks homemade, which is kind of what I was going for. I do a lot better when I stop trying to make every seam perfect.

And it's already covered with avocado. Just as an apron should be :)

Well, I'm off to start working on a new project-a crewel kit that I got in the mail this afternoon.

Real

Photos of children where the house in the background is perfectly clean. With Mom's that have on make-up and look as though they have showered in the past 2 days, telling stories of the overly thoughtful husbands or evenings out with friends or some crazy time-consuming project at work that they have somehow pulled off while caring for their children and not placing them in front of the TV. That is what blogs these days are made of. And to be honest, I just can't take the pressure. My house could always used some tidying. My bangs are always looking a little messy. If I have on make-up it is usually because I didn't get to wash it off my face from the previous day. I run on 50% coffee 25% sleep and 25% willpower. Even if I have the time to fold the laundry I rarely get to put it all neatly into drawers. My idea of a date night with my husband is drinking a glass of wine and falling asleep with my head on his lap while he watches some sporting event on TV. I haven't had my hair cut by a professional in 2 years. I get my news from the Daily Show and NPR. I have homework to do, 5 sewing projects to finish, crunched up Dorito bits on the floor of my car, nothing in the house to eat for dinner and I can't remember if I brushed my teeth this morning.

But it's still just as good.

32 things to do in my 32nd year

1. Make Christmas gifts for everyone in my family
2. Take a painting class at the art center
3. Put up a clothes line
4. Sew the bags with Susie
5. Have another baby
6. Take swimming lessons with Henry
7. Play the banjo
8. Surf
9. Take Henry to see some waterfalls
10. Plant a vegetable garden
11. Finish the painting by the back door
12. Paint and tile the kitchen
13. Foster a dog from the animal shelter
14. Paint our front door orange
15. Purchase a pair of rain boots
16. Put in a grey water system
17. Read 3 classics and 3 new authors
18. Pay off my credit card
19. Take my last class and walk down that hill
20. Use the library
21. Celebrate Eva’s 102 birthday
22. Be a better listener
23. Run the Chicago Marathon
24. Learn reflexology
25. Add this and this to my bike so that we can go car free
26. Plant lavender along our back walkway
27. Catch fireflies with Henry
28. Really do up the house with Christmas lights
29. Get one of these and take weekly photo walks with Henry
30. Prepare a 5 course vegan dinner for my family that even my Dad will love
31. Replace our 100 year old wood floors
32. Make a granny square quilt for Henry

I think. I might. Like it.

I found this table on the side of the road today and I grabbed it. I wasn't sure if I liked it and I am still not sure if I like it, but it is nice to have a light on that side of the sofa.

It doesn't even remotely match the table on the other side of the sofa but I feel like that unmatchiness might be so bad that it actually works. Maybe?

Humph!

Dear globe on Etsy. You're killing me. I am trying SO hard not to spend money. We have a wedding coming up that has turned into one of the most expensive 2 day outings that I have ever been a part of and I just cannot feel good about buying something for fun (so fun!) when I just spent over $500 on tuxes, a sport jacket, a white dress (isn't that bad form? oh well, it was on sale) and khaki slacks for the rehearsal dinner that Henry will stain within 10 minutes of our arrival. I won't go on about the expense of this event (gas, food, hotel fare, present...) even though I really could, because it is close to my bed time and I am trying to relax but I will just say that if you are still available for purchase in July, I am going to buy you and justify it by saying that it is for Henry's room. So...stick around.

I found some other good stuff for Henry's room this weekend. Including a Jenny Lind twin bed frame that just needs a little white paint and it will be ready for our big boy. These are some other things that I have been eyeballing for his room-

Rainbow ribbon thing

Cardboard deer head

Peace flags

An elephant (and I plan to make a peacock and a giraffe to match)

A whale shaped chalkboard

The letter H

Granny squares (my Grandma would be proud)
And a map. He has been really interested in understanding places lately.

Summer

I’m gearing up for summer. I admit, I am not quite ready for spring to end. I feel like I just pulled out my flip-flops and I could handle at least 3 more weeks of pink peonies on my dining room table but what can you do? Summer vacation is quickly approaching. I am not ready. I have piles of work to do and I need to find Henry’s swimsuit (I think it may still be in the suitcase from our last vacation). But that will happen in the next few days, it all comes together in the end, right?

Yesterday I asked Henry “Do you know what mountains are?”
“No.” He said, “Wait, they are big hills, right Mama?”
“So big,” I said, “that there is snow on the top. So big that it makes your brakes smoke when you drive down them. So big that you have to ride a train to get to the top.” I said with a smile.
“Are we going to ride a train?” He asked.
“Uh-huh. We sure are.” I said.
“A real train? I have never done that before Mama. It will be a new imperience.”

“You mean EXperience baby.”

“Yes,” he said “EXperience. I like new experiences. I just like new interesting stuff that I am curious about.”

I love that.

To help with the spring to summer transition we have been busy enjoying some of our favorite parts of summer like sun tea, picnics, staying up later, planting geraniums, running through the sprinkler, riding in the car with our arms out the window, wearing flowers in our hair, eating fresh basil, walking bare foot in the yard, and homemade ice cream. This weekend I am thinking strawberry ice cream with pink sprinkles. I love this idea for kiddos.

Perspective

Henry is turning into such a big boy now. He is my light and the happiest part of every day. Watching him change over the past 3 years has been so incredible. That he understands what I say and I can have a conversation with him about almost anything is so amazing. He comforted me last week, when I was feeling sad. He hugged me and said “It’s okay baby.” This is a person that 2 years ago was just learning to speak and walk. Getting older is strange. You gain this wonderful perspective of how special and glorious your life is. You realize that every single day is precious. But at the same time, you only get that perspective from the knowledge that time is passing and that your life is not forever. It is a bittersweet truth and I have felt it's heaviness the past few years. The only way that I can come to terms with it is to try my hardest to enjoy every day. To never wish for the weekend on a Monday. To close my eyes and feel the breeze. To smell the flowers and hug my babies and laugh with my parents and focus on the moment as much as I possibly can. I am not always good at it. There are days that I feel sad that I am getting older. And that people around me are getting older. But every second that I think about that is a second that I am not here with them. So I remind myself at the end of the day that even a mundane day with nothing special happening is still something special. It is a day that when I am old I will be glad that I had, and a day that I will wish I could do again.

Freebee

I pulled this guide out of my wallet at the store the other day and the guy standing next to me leaned over and asked "What does it say about broccoli?"

Other things you should buy organic is coffee (and free trade) and baby foods and juices.

Big big boy bed

Clearly I am in the mood to ramble on tonight (nothing new on this blog) so I thought I would share my most recent point of indecision. One of many, oh so many...

Henry's bed.

So, he is in a crib bed right now. It's his crib turned into a toddler bed. But he is tall and has nearly grown out of his bed. What next? Well, obviously a twin bed is next, but when I change the bed I will have to change the whole room. All the baby stuff will have to go. The stuffed animals and bumper pads with the ABC's and the letters hanging on ribbons...I'm okay with it. It was never really our style to begin with. I have been leaning towards a Jenny-Lind bed. I love them. I don't mind sharing, just between you and I, that a sibling for Henry is in the works. Not, in the works as in "in the works" but it's on the horizon. And this sibling will have to share a room with Sir Henry. I would like to buy a Jenny Lind crib for this future sibling so a matching bed for Hank seems like a good option. I think Jenny Lind will work for boys or girls. What do you think? Not boyish enough?

Bean

Unapologetic

I working on a paint-by-number painting. It's awesome.

Latest

My version of heaven. Almond Joy cupcake. It was that good. A Happy Birthday wish to my number 18.

Ringing

I've gone ring happy. I'm not sure what has come over me. Maybe it is that there is no size involved. I got this one on Friday. Lovely. Spring has me thinking a flower ring would be nice. So do I go with-
Chrysanthemum:Or Rose:Or both?

Happy bits

Today my friend Emily gave me a globe that she bought at a garage sale on Saturday for a dollar. It's perfect.

I also forgot that I ordered a book from amazon that was on back order until it arrived this afternoon. Many birthday gifts are going to come from this book.

Lastly, a package from the UK was in my inbox this morning. This lovely pin was in the box and now it adds the perfect bit of Spring to my gray purse. Her etsy stuff is amazing. Check it out. I think I want this one next.

A long story short

It's been a while...I know. Visitors, illnesses and just general busyness has kept me away. So I thought I might try to get back into your good graces with a super long post about really nothing at all. We are all good. Henry is enormous....his hair is just as blond and poofy as can be and it seems to attract attention wherever we go. Wade is good. Building some cool stuff with recycled wood, including an art easel for Henry. He has become quite a painter. In fact, at school when other kids are working on their stations Henry will almost always ask to paint. We have some beautiful art around here now :) Wade has also been busy doing design work for the school's 5K/10K run. The Easter bunny brought WAY too much candy to our house this year and I have been doing a terrible job of staying away from it. I've also been staying busy with my normal activities--sewing, cooking, watching movies, reading, staring at cupcake cookbooks for hours...and coming up with schemes to start a cupcake shop/bakery in downtown Lawrence. Believe it or not it's coming along much easier than I anticipated. So we'll see...

Tonight I had an urge for Chinese food but I can't actually get Chinese food because A) Not vegan B) I can't feed that stuff to my child and feel good about it (that reminds me of a funny story. Henry and I went to the park last night to work off the slice of pizza the size of our face we ate for dinner. A little girl whose mother was sitting on the park bench on the cell phone (happens every time I go to the park) latched on to us and began to play. Henry and I were pretending to drive the firetruck to a fire. The little girl hopped into the drivers seat and Henry asked "Where is the fire?" "McDonald's!" she yelled. She pretended to drive to McDonald's. Then my friend that was with us asked "where is the fire?" "At Old McDonald's" Henry said. And then he started singing the song. My child thinks McDonald's is a farm with a cow (moo moo) and not a fast food restaurant. You have no idea how happy this makes me. Back to Chinese food...) C) MSG gives me a headache. So I decided to make my own spring rolls tonight and boy where they fantastic. I combined two recipes and did a little improvising (I am terrible at following recipes) to include the food we already had at home. I used tofu, carrots, cabbage, red bell peppers and green onions. Yum. It started like this

And ended like thisWhat else? I bought 2 yards of this fabric last weekend so that I can attempt to make a purse from my Amy Butler book. I would like to buy this instead and save myself the time, but I just can't justify spending that much on something that I will probably ruin in a few months. I also bought some of this and this to make more pillows. It's getting a little insane with the pillows around here. Pretty soon my husband is going to make me start selling them.

What else??? Well, against my better judgment I joined facebook. I have caught up with a few really good friends that I haven't heard from in years, which is great. But I have been also tracked down by some people that I haven't heard from in years and really prefer it that way. Facebook is a weird experience for me and I don't know how long I will stay on it. Besides I hear that twittering is all the rage these days. Always a day late and a dollar short... :) I tried to take a photo of myself for my facebook page so I went into the bathroom and did this. Eye closed. Camera in my face. Why am I an idiot?

Oh and I almost forgot. I took #'s 1, 9, 13 and 18 off my list. I still have a long way to go, but I will knock #'s 2, 5, 6, 8 and 10 off this summer. And if I could only convince Wade that this is worth $45 (it SO is...for my birthday...) I could work a little on #22.

Hope you all are doing well.

Oh...and these are for Lisa (pay no attention to the insanely messy house) I thought you might appreciate that one of us has the attention span for yoga :) ---