Heart

When my Aunt Cindy died she left all her jewelry to her nieces. She had a LOT of jewelry. Mostly costume jewelry that was as big and bright as the amazing woman that wore it. She loved holiday’s. At Christmastime I don’t think there was a piece of furniture in her house that was not adorned with something red and green. She even celebrated the summer with flamingo earrings and sunshine sandals. So, when I looked over her jewelry box I decided that I wanted to find a piece of jewlry to wear for every holiday…well, it turned out that all of my cousins (and a couple of unauthorized Aunts) had the same idea. But I was able to hang on to one gem, a red plastic heart pin. I have been wearing it on Valentines Day every year since she died. Because that is what she did. Because today is about love. Because I loved her so much. But today I decided that I don’t think I should save this pin for just February 14th anymore. I think that this red plastic heart pin actually goes with every outfit on every day. So I can be reminded to celebrate her love and her life, and my love and my life everyday. That makes me happy.

I ordered 3 new sewing books. My mind is racing with all the projects waiting for me on the pages...and yes, I have an Amazon addiction. I can't wait to make this sun hat. I plan to use it a lot this spring in the garden.

Super Tuesday

Are you guys going to caucus tonight? I REALLY REALLY want to go but I can't. If you go and you're for Obama cheer extra loud for me :)

Free

Much to my parents disappointment I had to drop my classes this semester. Although I am a 30 year old woman, I still feel the sting of disappointing my parents. But, unlike the many other times that I have felt the loneliness and self-doubt brought on by my father’s silent treatment tactics, this time I feel a slight surge from the decision. Don’t get me wrong, I still cried most of the day after dropping out and I still felt a little sick to my stomach as I over-explained my reasoning to my Mom, but at the same time I know that it is the right choice. When I complain about school my Dad usually tells the story of working 3 jobs while going to grad school and raising 3 children. He sacrificed his time with his kids for education and work, a compromise that I am unwilling to make and an example of the fundamental difference in priorities between me and my father. At any rate, I feel good about the decision and am reveling in the delight of free time. Imagining watching movies with my hubbie, my toes tucked under his legs while we snuggle under the blankets. Reading a book that keeps me up way too late. Making a new cupcake recipe (I’m thinking: pumpkin cranberry cake with brown butter icing). Here are a few other things I would like to do with the next 4 months:

volunteer at an animal shelter.
paint and recover the kitchen chairs.
take a couple of cooking classes at the merc.
sew new curtains for the kitchen.
bake homemade bread.
have coffee/dinner with my friends more, without children.
annihilate debt.
successfully predict this year's college hoops champion for my own March Madness pool.
get a pedicure now and again?
make a piñata.
make an entire meal with ingredients grown in my garden.
discover and learn about a new artist...music, painting, photography, anything really.
find or make Wade a really great gift.
exercise.
take pictures nearly every day.
go to and take everyone to the dentist (admittedly sad that this is making the list!).
keep the yard from looking trashy (harder than you think).
eat a salad every night.
plant a lilac bush and a dogwood tree.
get to a healthy weight so we can have another baby.
take a screen printing class (that means you lisa).

DISCLAIMER

Hi Guys. So, you’ve maybe noticed that I haven’t been posting much lately. I have been feeling a little disinterested in my blog. It seems to fill this ambiguous space for me. I have a lot going on right now and I would love to have an outlet to discuss it…but I also have this disabling concern for other people’s feelings and it is keeping me from talking about many of the things that I have been thinking about. I feel like my blog is not really a total representation of me. I mean, it is a blog so it isn’t every going to be a TOTAL representation of me but I really don’t want it to be devoid of me entirely. When I first started looking at blogs I mentioned to Wade how inspirational many of them are and I told him that looking at these blogs sometimes made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough. He said “People can be whatever they want to be online. Don’t let it make you feel bad. It is just a snapshot of someone else’s life and they can make it whatever they want it to be. It isn’t real.” Well….I don’t want my blog to be that. So, I have been thinking of deleting it.
But, at the same time I have a few friends that have blogs and I have convinced my sisters to have blogs and I am always so excited when they post on their blogs so I feel like there might be a handful of people that feel the same way about my blog.

So this is my warning to you. I am going to change things up a bit. I am probably going to talk about touchier subjects. I’ll probably discuss animal rights, veganism, environmental responsibility, politics….etc. If you are sensitive about your hamburger then you will probably not want to read my blog. I am not saying that it is going to be all serious all the time. I’m sure I’ll still post about my cupcakes and my little Bean and do mosaics….all that good stuff. I am just saying that I am going to be more honest about what is going on with me. I need to have a little more integrity with this blog; otherwise it is just a waste of my time. If you're not feeling it then don't read it. I will not be offended.

Husband does the robot

The news about Heath Ledger...

has made me really sad. I have always had a soft spot for him and his family. He seemed like such a genuine guy.

Paper Flowers

I love paper flowers. Back in 2001, when I was planning my wedding, I made a ton of paper flowers. I wanted to use them for my bouquets and centerpieces. I wanted to put them in my hair and in my bridesmaids hair....but after days and days of work I realized that I just didn't have the time to make that many flowers. This year Henry and I made paper poinsettias which turned pretty nice and would have probably made lovely centerpieces for a winter wedding. It took a while but not as long as my efforts years ago. I think I might use the same idea to make some white and light green flowers to fill the beautiful white ceramic pitcher that my parents gave me for Christmas.

Things that make me happy Thursday

I asked my coworker what her New Years Resolution is, she said she doesn't believe in resolutions because she never keeps them anyway. I said, yeah but just because you fail at something doesn't mean that you should stop trying. Resolving to live a better life by flossing your teeth or losing weight or eating more vegetables is something that people should do all the time, not just once a year. I felt a little sad for my coworker because I am pretty sure that she is not doing anything to actively make her life better, she is just going along with things as they are. A scary notion for me. I firmly believe that your life is what you make of it. If you make no effort and take no risks for yourself then in the end the only thing steering your course is what other people do to you. An even scarier notion.

My New Years Resolution list is long and lovely and full of hope and promise for this journey I am on called LAURA KELLY'S ONE LIFE. I've got some stuff I'll share but most of it I think I'll keep for myself.

This holiday season has really been an eye-opening experience for me. I’ll spare you the details and just say that in the end I have realized quite a bit about myself and my family. There have been disappointing and lonely moments but I am looking at it as a much needed push towards a more organized, independent and thoughtful life. And all of these recent discoveries have come just in time for New Years Resolutions, which may just give me the much needed boost for some positive change.

It is the end of year and in an accounting office that means crazy hours, stress headaches, not taking lunch breaks and doing a lot of complaining. A few of my resolutions center around my experience at work, which is important to me because I spend most of my time at work. I do not really feel a deep connection to my coworkers, but that is okay because it is a job, not a social gathering. My goals this year for my job are to not let myself get stressed out by it {it’s a job in a billing office….not worth the kind of emotional energy I am currently putting into it}. To not be such a pushover with people {it is shocking to me to look at my workload in comparison to everyone else. It would seem like the pay out for hard work is more work, but in many ways I bring it onto myself by not speaking up about the imbalance}. And, lastly, stop participating in office politics and gossip. I feel best about myself when I come to work, do what I am supposed to do, meet my deadlines, stay focused, am friendly and positive, and do a good job.

Another very important goal for 2008 is to work on my relationships- foster some new friendships, to strengthen some that I value and have let slide and remove myself from the ones that are not fulfilling and leave me feeling frustrated and exhausted (I have many of those). This is going to be SUPER hard for me because A) I have no free time. B) I have a slight fear of commitment when it comes to friendships. Too many people have let me down in the past (hence the multiple frustrating and exhausting friendships resolution). C) I am not good at putting up boundaries without just completely cutting people off. In some cases I think I should just cut people off, and actually this fall I did that with two friendships that were NOT working for me. I felt and still feel a little guilty about it, but I try to remind myself that I do not have to like everyone and everyone does not have to like me.

Of course, losing weight/being healthy is high up on my list for 2008. I am really feeling the pressure now because this year we are going to the beach and I want to feel good in my swimsuit and be comfortable on a long road trip. I feel good about the healthy part. Since starting this plant-based diet my energy level is up, my skin is clearer, my hair is shinier, I don’t have heartburn anymore, and I don’t crash after every meal. I need to exercise though, so starting on Monday I am going to the gym in the morning. Before I got pregnant I exercised every day, then I hit my first trimester and pretty much slept and threw up all day….I felt good working out and while working out every day is not really an option given my busy schedule, I think I can fit it in 4 days a week, and that will do for now.

What about you? What do you want for yourself in 2008?

2008

“It’s time again. Tear up the violets and plant something more difficult to grow.”

-James Schuyler

In case you were wondering

-How you know you are getting old: You send your husband out for rum and diet/caffeine free coke.
-How you know it is time for a diet: You post a photo of yourself at 2 years of age and someone comments on how thin you used to be.
-How you know you are not getting enough sleep: You forget where you parked and end up walking past your car twice before you find it.
-How you know you are broke: You use your Christmas money for groceries.
-How you know you are lazy: You clear a path of dirty laundry on your floor so that you can safely crawl in and out of bed in the dark and the path has been the same for a month.
-How you know you are PMSing: You cry while watching the Christmas episode of Little Bill with your 2 year old son.

Mashmallows and three snowmen

I took Friday off because my list of things to do before Tuesday is oh so very long....but squished into a mosaic it looks totally delightful so I am not complaining. The peppermint marshmallows turned out great so Friday I will do round 2. This batch is going on my White Elephant (with left overs to be dipped into chocolate and given to Wade's coworkers on Monday) Christmas party on Saturday with two snowman mugs from Target and some hot cocoa. Plus I have two wreaths to make. The ornament one is for my Mom and the gumdrop one is for me, if I can find gumdrops (help!). I am not finished stringing my cranberry and popcorn garland and if I don't get that on the tree soon the birds aren't going to have anything to snack on in January. Plus I am working on a stocking for my friends daughter. It is like the red one in the center photo. There is cookies to decorate and cupcakes to bake. If you are in the mood for Christmas crafts come on over to my workshop, I could use more elfin hands :)

Happy Holidays my blogger friends.

A doormat

One of Wade's Christmas presents. I think it is hilarious.

Dream Job

Dwell did an article about transforming a bi-level house into a contemporary and sustainable home this month. I've read it three times. This is where I want to end up someday-working with sustainable architecture. It is my dream job. It is why I am finishing this Ecology degree (well, that and my Dad).

Take that

There are times when I feel like I am not a very good mom. Those times are usually from around 12:30-3:00 on Friday afternoon. That is when I am trying to put Henry down for his nap without Wade's assistance and it never goes very well. Today was no exception.
We read stories, snuggled, got the animals all lined up in bed, had several drinks of water, rock-a-byed and then I put him down in bed. He was up within seconds, telling me "I do not like night night nap mama." I left the room and stood outside the door. He said that another 60 times. "I DO NOT LIKE NIGHT NIGHT NAP!" Me either.
Then it got quiet. I had a moment of hope, maybe he is asleep.
"Oh Mama. Poo poo diapy on the bed." I ran in. Henry was nude from the waist down, his poopy diaper laying on the bed. I scooped him up-new jamies, new diaper, new blankets, new sheets...back in bed. More hoopla-crying, yelling, jumping, headbutting while rocking. After about 10 minutes I told him "Henry lay down and go night night. If you get up one more time I am leaving the room and not coming back in." "Okay Mama" he said. He was up in less than a minute. I left the room and waited outside the door. He cried for a while and then I heard him busily moving around. This could be good, I thought, he is usually really squirmy before he settles down.
"Uh-oh Mama. Medicine on the blanky."
I run in. He has somehow reached over to the other side of his dresser, grabbed the diaper ointment and squirted it all over his bed, himself and the walls. Oh, and he is nude from the waist down. New jamies, new sheets, new blankets....In the chaos I forget to take the ointment out of his hands. I tell him "Henry give me the medicine." "NO." he yells. "Please give it to me Henry." He puts his hand out like he is going to give it to me but instead squirts it right in my face. This is a no-no chair offense and he is happy to go because it means that he doesn't have to be in his bed. In and out of the no-no chair for 10 minutes. I have to reset the timer 5 times. Finally, he does his time without getting out of the chair and we are back in the bedroom. I laid him down and he actually stays down. I think all the crying, pooping, yelling, squirting, and headbutting finally has worn him out. And me too. It's a funny feeling when a situation can make you feel like crying, punching a wall and laughing all at the same time. Oh well, I think Mama needs a night night nap.

There was a lot of ice and stuff

We hit a rough, or should I say, icy patch the last few days that brought about several realizations/revolutions for Wade and I. Our power went out at midnight on Monday night. It came back on briefly and then was out again at 3 am and stayed out until 5:30 this morning. We stayed home as long as we could on Tuesday morning, but after a night of the three of us (plus two cats) freezing under our blankets, it wasn't long before we packed up our things and headed to Gigi and Grandpa's house. I spent the day there with Henry while Wade worked. I had taken the day off to try to salvage my final exam grade. Henry was sick over the weekend and our last exam was last Thursday so finding the time to actually study was nearly impossible. Now, I knew that without electricity there was no way I could study at my house and so I gave up on studying and played with Henry hoping that our electricity would be on Tuesday evening and I could stay up late studying. It wasn't on Tuesday evening so we settled on staying the night at my parents house. This would be Henry's first night not sleeping in his own bed. Wade and I knew it wouldn't go well, and it didn't. He was confused. He kept saying "Henry go home. Henry go night-night in Henry's own bed." He wouldn't lay down on his own, so I went to bed with him at 8:00 pm. He tossed and turned most of the night. When our neighbors called at 5:30 to tell us that our outside light turned on Wade was so excited I thought he might just run home (which would be a very long and cold run from my parents house). He left at about 6:00 am and Henry and I got up a few minutes later. I am at work now, having spent the day responding to emails from my "vacation" day yesterday and not really getting any studying done despite my stack of notes sitting on my desk just to my right, and I have almost completely come to terms with the fact that I am going to go into my final exam tomorrow not knowing much of anything from the semester. Not remembering the general information we learned for exam 1 or much of the far more specific information that I didn't learn for the exam I just took last week or anything else in between. I think the worst part about tomorrow will be looking over those test questions and feeling like I have a vague idea of what the answer is but not knowing enough to be certain. I don't want to get a D. I am tired of worrying about it. I feel like there wasn't much I could have done differently.

I think I could write a book about things that go wrong before final exams. My freshman year I wrecked on my way to my Psychology final. I leaned over to grab my #2 pencil that slid behind the seat and slammed into a tree. Years later a girl ran into the electrical post just outside of our house with her car and broke the post in half. They had to turn off our electricity to put in a new post. I studied my note cards by candlelight that night. There have been other incidents too...sickness, broken bones, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't think of now because my brain is tired and I am sleep deprived.

But I can't complain too much. A grade is just a grade, a class is just a class. And this experience has brought about some important insights that needed to come up. As Wade and I drove away from our dark house on Tuesday night I thought about all the people that have been displaced from their homes recently because of hurricanes and tsunamis. There is a feeling of helplessness unlike any other when you call a service to find out what is happening with your home only to get an automated service with a very broad explanation and no time frame for when you can expect your life to be "normal" again. Many people who lived through Katrina are still dealing with that automated service and coping with that hopeless feeling. I had it for 28 hours, I can't imagine how they must feel right now. In addition to that....what's the saying??? "Don't know what you got till it's gone" Man, that is the truth. When Wade called to tell me that he was watching Ricky Ticky Tavy with Henry on the sofa with the Christmas lights on in our warm house I felt better than I have in months. So I guess I can thank the ice for that. I can also thank my parents for putting up with us for 28 hours, we are not easy house guests and they were unbelievably generous.

So, I suppose I'll take my bad grade for those insights. It seems like a fair trade.

It's true

Have you seen Sicko? Go rent it tonight if you haven’t. It is an incredible film. Last night Wade told me that it changed his life…and I think we’re moving to Canada ;)

But seriously, check it out…good stuff.

{well, actually it is not good stuff, it is terrible stuff, but it is good to know about so rent it. Or come to my house and watch it. We have it on movies on demand until tomorrow night.}

The Jar

Well, I finally got an exam grade that I deserve in my Developmental Biology class: 68%
Can't really complain, I spent all of 3 hours studying for it and only attended 2 classes since the last exam.
The final is going to suck.

My body's latest response to stress is all of my muscles become sore and weak. Mostly it is my hands, arms and thigh muscles that are weak, but my whole body aches right now. I couldn't open the peanut butter jar yesterday.

More with the funk

I spent my day trying to study for my test off and on while doing my job. I have no patience for the fact that I have to spend all of my free time over the next two weeks deciphering these notes. It seems insane to spend my few hours of free time each week doing that. I will never use this information. The older I get the less tolerant I am of my time being wasted. For the first time in my life I am very much aware of time-how quickly it is passing, how we only have a limited amount of it....Sometimes I wish I didn't have this awareness, it seems much nicer to just go through the day with no thought of time, just going through the motions unaware of my hair turning greyer or the fact that 2007 passed in the blink of an eye. Does time move faster as we get older? It seems to. At any rate, I have to find a way to end this school situation. I think that means taking more classes and just really suffering for a few months to have it completed in a shorter time. I am enrolling in another class for the spring. Hopefully this way I can be finished a year from now. I don't want to be in school at all but I want to graduate. I wish my Grandpa was still alive. I would say screw Biology and go work with him in his workshop and he could show me how to be a carpenter. I think I would like to be paid to make things with my hands everyday.

The start of a funk

I twisted my ankle and fell on my ass while getting out of my car this morning. No one was around to see it. I had to sit there for a couple of minutes because my ankle was throbbing and I dropped my lunch bag and half of my belongings fell out of my purse and scattered on the ground. I tried not to cry. In that moment I decided that I am totally miserable, its funny how that can happen, one little thing can set you off. I wanted to just stay sitting there for hours. I imagined walking to my desk and putting my headphones on immediately so I didn’t have to talk to anyone and sitting all day at my desk with all this activity going on around me but no one needing anything from me or asking me any questions or getting any phone calls or listening to any stories. Just sneaking in and sitting at my desk and being invisible.
I know the sources of my funk. This week it is an exam on Thursday and a final on next Thursday and I am starting my period and I am still not over this cold and Henry just does not sleep through the night anymore and I really don’t like my job and I can’t believe that I am about to end another semester and start another one and I don’t feel any closer to graduation and we should be saving money for our vacation and my transmission is starting to slip.
I was only at work for 10 minutes before I had to turn around and go to class. I sat in class confused and bored, wishing I had just stayed at work and saved my $1.75 for parking. This is an example of one page of notes I took in class. I typed them out when I got back to work hoping that they would make more sense after I looked at them again. They don’t.

4) Ureteric bud secretes Wnt9B and
Wnt6.
-Induces MNGM differentiation into epithelial tubule.
-mesenchymal to epithelial transition.
-regulates ECM, CAM and cytoskeletal genes.
-Pax2 txn factor involved.
5) MNGM secrete Wnt4 wich acts in an autocrine way to
consolidate mesencymal to epithelial transition.
-LIM-1 Txn factor mediates this transition to epithelial tubule.
6) MNGM induces ureteric bud to branch
Both “pulls” and “pushes”
GDNF: induces branching.
TGFβ-1: inhibits branching (restricts branching to correct area).
BMP4: restricts branching.

Time

The practicalities of everyday life are really taking it out of me today. I am discouraged. I wonder how an “Average Joe” can live his life without feeling as though he has compromised.

Seriously! Seriously?

What is up with the pre-lit Christmas trees? I mean it's bad enough that I have to buy a fake one (curse you cats!) but now I don't even get to put my own lights on it? And whose idea was this? What, putting up the lights give someone an arm cramp or something?

Gosh Gene, I would love to put up our ornaments this year but the 10 minutes it took me to string the lights really took it out of me. Maybe after I take a nap. Anyone got a Gatorade?

Give me a break!

Random facts

Coming up with my Friday 5 today got me in the mood to makes lists. This started out as next weeks F5 exploded into a Friday 20 (and an hour long distraction from work), which just will not do...so here it is.

1. I take super hot showers
2. My Nana-in-Law (ha!) calls herself a counter-she counts everything (when she is walking she counts her steps, when she is eating she counts her peas, etc) well I am a singer. I sing everything. Sometimes outloud but most of the time just in my head because when I do it outloud I almost always get caught.
3. I really want to be into yoga and poetry, but both of them bore the bee geezers out of me.
4. I am a terrible napper and cannot sleep past sunrise without medication
5. I can’t figure out God/Religion. I am mostly on board with God, but so far religion has just let me down. I hope I have enough time in my life to figure that one out.
6. I have a lot of bad dreams, sometimes they make me scream in my sleep (good times for Wade)
7. I have 4 extreme fears- flying, getting really sick, grasshoppers and public speaking
8. Most of the time I am pretty sure that I am not smart enough to finish college, but I am just going along with it because I have been wrong a lot
9. I would love to live in New York City although the idea of it scares me a little
10. Each of my sisters (I have 3) have at least one quality that I envy, just a little…
11. My sister Susie is the most like my Mom. Sometimes I hear myself saying things exactly like my Dad (especially when I am being silly) but other than that I don’t think I am much like my parents at all.
12. If I won a million dollars I would quit my job, graduate from college and travel the world with my husband and Bean.
13. I think we will have one more baby in the next year or so and then I think we will adopt in the next couple of years and then our family will be complete. Although when I fantasize about my family there are 3 biological children and 3 adopted children.
14. I am getting a LOT more grey hair.
15. I love Hip-Hop and would totally blast it in my car if it didn’t annoy me so much when other people do it.
16. My high school boyfriend treated me like crap and was a totally druggy. Since then I've decided that drugs are for posers.
17. During the eulogy at my Aunt Cindy’s funeral my little sister Susie leaned over and said “That sounds like you Laurie.” It was the greatest compliment I have ever gotten.
18. I only like salads with croutons
19. I think my husband is the funniest person I know
20. I am pretty sure I have ADD because I space out during conversations and can't sit still for an entire movie.

Friday Five

Five favorite moments of the holiday weekend

1) Throwing a party for Henry in MY house!!! YAY!
2) Decorating Henry’s birthday cake with my sisters
3) Watching my sisters interact with Henry for the first time in months
4) Drawing names for Christmas gift-giving
5) Stopping for a moment to be thankful for my fantastic family, my beautiful friends and all the blessings of 2007

What were your favorite moments this holiday weekend?

this time of year

because I love lists. and fresh starts. and seeing my breath in the morning. and scarves. and hot chocolate with peppermint marshmallows. and the grass sparkling in the morning sunlight. the smell of evergreen trees and pine cones. over sized sweaters. homemade snowflakes on the window. lights and nat king cole and talk of reindeer and santa claus. red and green and red and green. decorating cookies. henry crawling under our blankets at night. fuzzy slippers. pink noses and cheeks. how the grinch stole christmas and all the claymation christmas shows from when i was a kid. the sound of the furnace running. visits from loved ones. christmas trees strapped to the tops of cars. an excuse to make homemade gifts out of gumdrops and to snuggle under the blanket with my hubby. henry’s cold nose on my cheek when I get a kiss. the stars seem brighter. the air seems fresher. people seem happier.

A funny thing happened on the way over here

I don’t intend to be preachy, ever, and I certainly don’t want offend anyone and I feel like I have to say this because I have learned over the past few months that food IS an issue for people. The responses I have gotten to- I don’t eat meat or I am on a plant based diet…etc have been extreme, aggressive, rude, and most of the time totally lame. Here are a few, just for kicks-

It’s too bad that you don’t eat meat. Cows are stupid.
Oh, that’s sad.
So, then you must really like salads.
I wonder how long it will take of kids making fun of Henry before he begs you to go to McDonalds
Not eating meat causes diabetes
But what about killing all those plants?
Eat meat, have a vegetarian
But we are carnivores.
How do you live without protein?
All the vegans I know are angry and tired
And my favorite-
Jesus said we should eat animals.

I have responses to each of these comments, although I have to admit, some of them caught me so off guard that I came up with the response long after the comment was made...probably in the car on the way home while talking to myself...but whatever....I won’t bore you with replaying the entire conversation on my blog. What upsets me the most about all of it is that these comments are that they are not an invitation for a conversation. I would love to have an engaging conversation about why I disagree with the statement “We are carnivores”. Or talk about all the great food there is available to a vegan besides a salad. Or introduce protein sources like legumes and grains to someone that has never really tried them. I love talking about being vegan. I am excited and energized by it. I feel proud of myself and my husband for taking the steps to living in accordance with our beliefs and I think what I have learned and am learning about the typical American diet is not only fascinating but also life changing and in many ways life saving. And sometimes I do feel a little sad that I can't share what I am learning with some people for fear that they will get defensive. But I know it is touchy, oh so touchy….

With those disclaimers out of the way, I would like to mention something that has happened to me over the past few months that I think would be interesting to anyone trying to make a change in their diet, even people who are just planning to shed a few pounds come Jan. 2. And that is that- Given time your taste buds will change. I didn’t believe it, but it’s true. For example, I used to love Sheridan’s Pumpkin Pie Concretes. Mashed up pumpkin pie blended with custard and topped with whipped cream and cinnamon sugar (but it’s eating plants that gives people diabetes, right ? ). They only come around in the fall/winter so I decided that it was okay for me to have one this year and a couple of weeks ago we went. I sat in the back seat so I could share it with Henry. I couldn’t eat it. I used to love it but now the flavor of the milk was WAY too strong. I don’t remember even tasting it before and now all I could taste was whole milk. It was crazy. I have also noticed it with cupcakes made with egg-I can taste the egg now which I couldn’t before and with milk chocolate-the milk taste is so strong I can’t stomach it. Also, I can’t do pizza with lots of cheese on it, it’s too rich and milky tasting. This is huge for me because I used to say “There is no such thing as too much cheese.” SO….what I am saying is that if you are trying to get to a point where you don’t crave that large pepperoni pizza or you are going to try loose a few pounds by giving up sweets, you can do it. Cut yourself off for a couple of months and then try it again. I guarantee your taste buds will change.

New research shows

that I am a freakin genius.

I like the stripes

Is it irresponsible to spend $40.00 on baby leg warmers? His legs will get cold this winter. And after $40 I get free shipping....aw-yeaher... Besides, my friends daughter wears them on her arms which I think is downright adorable. Of course, leg warmers are more of a girl thing. humm.

Is it irresponsible to spend $40.00 on baby leg warmers to save just in case some day I have a girl?

I bought stamps

Alright, all of you cute girls that I love. It's that time again to send me your address. I intend to send holiday cards out in a timely manner this year and I have a really cute idea so I might even make them (ah big dreams...)

Yes, I know that many of you have lived in the same house for years and I know that I have probably already mailed a birthday card or something like that to your current address at some point...but send me your address anyway because I am totally unorganized and because you love me. Email is best, I don't want all the hundreds of people that read my blog to get your information....What? No one looks at this blog? You are only looking at it because you accidentally clicked on it while you were dragging it to your recycling bin? Well, then I should probably send out an email...thanks for letting me know ;)

My Mother in Law sent me this as an email and I thought it was so interesting. Especially with the pictures. We spend about $120.00 a week on groceries and I was surprised to see where that number fits in- right between Poland and Egypt. It is from the blog What People Eat Around the World

1. Germany - $500 a week for food

2. North Carolina, USA - $341.98 a week for food

3. Japan - $317.25 a week for food

4. Italy - $260 a week for food

5. Great Britain - $253 a week for food

6. Kuwait - $221.45 a week for food

7. Mexico - $189.09 a week for food

8. California, USA - $160 a week for food
9. Beijing, China - $155.06 a week for food
10. Poland - $151 a week for food

11. Egypt - $68.53 a week for food
12. Mongolia - $40 a week for food

13. Ecuador - $31.55 a week for food
14. Bhutan - $5 a week for food
15. Breidjing Camp - $1.23 a week for food!!! {Sudanese refugees in Chad}

Background

I turned on Wade's computer this evening and found this picture as his background. I think it is so cute and also slightly funny that he has this tiny bunny as his background.

Getting off the juice

I have developed a bad habit recently: Coke Zero

Not only that but my coffee intake has tripled over the past few months. I need to get more sleep, drinking tons of caffeine is not the solution to being tired all the time. Besides, it freaks me out that I can only recognize 3 ingredients on the label (water, carmel color, and caffeine) and I have taken 2 years of chemistry, including organic chemistry (one would think that something like a beverage would not contain any inorganic (in the chemistry sense not the food production sense) ingredients, not true for Coke Zero).

I was going to wait until New Year's to cut the soda out of my diet, but the secret stash under my desk is dwindling and I think it is time.

I also was sick all weekend and drank a lot of tea which rekindled my love of tea. How did I forget about tea? Last night I sat on my sofa with my super warm and super huge sweater from my Aunt Donna (which is actually more like a blanket with sleeves and which I really wanted to hate because it is really meant for a 400 lb person and I was having trouble getting over the fact that she thought it would fit me) and a book and a cup of chamomile tea and it was wonderful. Reminded me why it is that I love winter. But I'll stop for now because I don't want to spill all the goodies I have saved up for Things That Make Me Happy Thursday.

By the way, Henry's birthday was so perfect I really couldn't have asked for more, execpt maybe no sore throat and a few more chairs. Throwing a party for your child is WAY more fun than throwing a party for yourself. I have a feeling that Christmas is going to be way more fun now that Henry is here as well. JOY: I feel it this season.

LUCK FOU PERKINS

And another thing

I am so tired of being fat. This morning I spent 20 minutes trying to find something to wear that would properly cover my gut, butt and boobs. I want to wear a huge sweat suit every day. Something 2 sizes too big that I can hide in. Wade told me last night that he heard about a study done proving a relationship between sleep deprivation for new mom’s and loosing the baby weight. Pretty much confirming what we already knew, Mom’s that don’t sleep don’t loose the baby weight. I haven’t slept for 2 years. I have gained back all 26 lbs from my pregnancy…only I am no longer carrying around a 7 lb baby…now it is a 7 lbs gut. I am thinking about not taking any classes next semester just so that I can go to the gym. Otherwise I am not sure that I will be able to find any time to do it and I HAVE to exercise. I can’t be a healthy person without some physical activity. But good lord, I need to finish school already....this is just ridiculous.

My coworker baby talks to her husband. She has to be almost 60 years old and I am pretty sure he is even older than she is. Just now I heard her say "Oh I know but you have to eat something. If you wait until I get home then it is going to be almost 4 and then you won't want to eat because you'll spoil your dinner. Can you make a peanut butter and jelly? You can toast it if you want? Okay. Love you." Now read that again only remember that it is all in baby talk to a grown man. Annoying huh? I get to listen to that stuff all day.

I hate it when people walk by, make eye contact and then nod. A nod is not a smile. It doesn't count. Just smile. It is much easier and friendlier.

The no-food grumpiness is really starting to set in now. I have eaten all the nuts I have stockpiled in my desk for a rainy day and the Ziploc bag full of stale cheerios that I put in my purse for Henry several weeks ago. I am about to eat that orange I found under a stack of paperwork yesterday. It has to be at least a month old. Come on it's the day before Thanksgiving, aren't they supposed to feed us something in appreciation for our hard work?

The stuffing

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. My head ached, my throat hurt, I wasn’t rested. Henry was yelling for me in the other room “Mama Mama Where are you Mama?” When I got into his room he told me that there was a big huge juice box over there that was spraying him with juice and he did not like it. His first nightmare? When I was a kid I had a reoccurring nightmare that Charlie Brown and his gang where chasing me but I could only run in slow motion. I would wake up panicked and be so scared that I would wake up my sister...neither one of us could ever figure out what exactly was so scary about that dream. Anyway. I put Henry down on my side of the bed covered him up with his blanket and closed my eyes hoping to get just a couple more seconds of rest. He whispered “Mama? Here go Mama.” And then shoved the corner of his blanket into my mouth (he likes to chew on his blankets until he falls asleep). Then I felt his hand on the side of my face. “Where your glasses Mama?” he whispered. I pretended to be asleep. He moved so his face was right in my face, one inch from my nose. “Where your glasses Mama? Henwe find them?” Then Wade stirred and Henry rolled over and shouted “NO WORK BAPA!” “Bapa don like work.” “Bapa stay with Henwe in house and play.” Poor Wade, Henry does this to him every morning and I know it has to be so hard for him to leave.

Getting Henry ready in the morning is such an ordeal. He hates his coat. He hates anything that limits his mobility. With his arms sticking out a little and his head surrounded by a puffy collar he told me “DON LIKE JACKET!” “Mama!” Jacket hurts” I pulled his orange/slightly too small for him hat down over his head and walked into the other room to get my coat. When I came back in he hadn’t moved from that spot. Standing there like a starfish, arms and legs sticking out and his hat down over his eyes. “Mama?” he said. “Henwe don like hat either Mama. Hat in eyes Mama.” Oops, I pulled his hat down too far. “Oh sorry baby. I didn’t mean to pull it down over your eyes. That was too far. Sorry.” The whole way to my parent’s house Henry complained about his jacket. First he went through every body part “Mama. Jacket hurts Henwe’s arms. Mama. Jacket hurts Henwe’s bottom. Mama. Jacket hurts Henwe’s tummy….” Then when that didn’t work he hit me with the guilt. “Mama pulled Henry hat down too far. Sorry Henry. In Henwe eye. Don’t like it.” Like a good Mom I tried to get him off the subject with a bribe. “Want some gum baby? It’s peppermint gum.” “Mmm-hmm Mama.” Henry said. I gave him the gum and he started singing “Peppermint gum. Peppermint gum.” I patted the beat on my leg. “Peppermint gum. Peppermint gum. Peppermint Bapa. Peppermint Bapa.” Henry sang. Then he started cracking up. “Peppermint Bapa?” he laughed. “What?” I said “Peppermint Papa? You’re so silly Henry.” We sang Peppermint Bapa the rest of the way to Gigi’s house.

I got to work an hour later than I wanted to. I didn’t eat breakfast. I have no motivation to do anything so I think I’ll go get another cup of coffee. I thought I was going to get off at noon so I didn’t bring lunch. Just found out that I have to stay until 3. I get really grumpy when I don't eat. I think it is an evolution thing...because our ancestors went days without food, hunting and gathering and all that.... At least I blame it on that. I am going to be a grumpy bear by 3:00.

Tonight we have to finish making Henry’s turkey hands, buy everything for Henry’s cake and clean the house. I am making my sisters leek and potato stew with dumplings for dinner. I feel like we have so many loose ends to tie up this weekend. Hopefully I will get to relax a little on Sunday. KU football and basketball in one day. Go Hawks!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Cookies

Took a break from the cupcakes this weekend and make some chocolate chip cookies. This was my first attempt at vegan chocolate chip cookies. I made a recipe from one of my vegan cookbooks, next time I think I will take my Mom's recipe and just subsitute the eggs and butter.

Meet Pearl

We donated our turkey money to a turkey sanctuary and saved a turkey named Pearl. I think she is pretty cute.

Friday 5

My friend Kate sent me this meme last week. It kinda fits the Friday 5 theme...so it goes up. Play along if you like...

*I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?
1. Produce - Avocados

2. Bakery – Rustic whole wheat loaf

3. Meat – Nah…I’ll pass

4. Frozen – Amy’s Veggie Pot Pie

5. Dry goods - Quinoa

* Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 CDs for the plane. What are they?

1. Fiest The Reminder

2. Radiohead Amnesiac

3. Can I just bring my ipod? I don’t ever buy CD’s anymore…

* If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. This weekend Henry said…

2. This weekend Henry did…

3. What’s for lunch?

4. I feel like an alien at my job

5. I have to pee

* So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood?

1. Brush and floss my teeth

2. Hug the boys

3. Take a shower

* What are 3 things that you have in your room that have been with you for the longest amount of time?

1. Omega (My huge, fluffy, white comforter)

2. A necklace from my parents

3. A robe that my Grandma made for me when I was 10 years old

* You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?

1. I’m being tailgated

2. I just got cut off

3. The music in the car next to me is so loud that it is making my car vibrate and my son is yelling “Turn off radio Mama”

* Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself at your house. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Taking pictures

2. Cleaning the kitchen

3. Watching a movie and knitting

4. Reading

5. Making cupcakes

* We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Hippo

2. Elephant

3. Otters

(crying all the while)

* You're hungry for ice cream. What are your favorite 3 kinds?

1. Pumpkin spice

2. Raspberry sorbet

3. Anything containing coconut and chocolate

* Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?

1. Orange wallet

2. Henry’s socks

3. 4 different kinds of Lipolicous lip-gloss

4. ipod

5. Pink sparkle toothbrush, floss and tiny Colgate toothpaste tube

I've never been one to "tag" people but I'd love to see what you got....I know it seems like a waste of time, but do it anyway ;)

Thursday Love

Here's the thing. I love Anthropologie. I want to live in the rooms in the catalogs and wear all the clothes. Also, I love mugs. I know, it's a little strange but I just do. I have a lot of mugs...so many that they wouldn't all fit in the tiny kitchen in our last house. A few years ago we went to Prince Edward Island on vacation and I came home with 5 mugs. I have never considered myself a collector of anything really, but I suppose I need to come to terms with my mug addiction.
This week my love of these two things came together and the result was me spending entirely too much money on something that I will likely break in the next 6 months. Oh well. I ordered these birdy mugs on Monday. I got the package this morning....cutest ever! Now they have plates and bowls in the same pattern....this is not good folks. Would it be irresponsible of me to get a second job to pay for my Anthropologie addiction?

Things that make me happy Thursday

Cupcakes are the most versatile food. You can dress them up or dress them down. You can bring them to a kid's birthday party or serve them at a wedding. Make um for a holiday or just for the hell of it. They are fun for grownups and kiddos. They make people happy. That is why I love them. Well, that and there is just something so very lovely about having a tiny cake in your hand that you can eat without utensils and that will most likely leave icing on your nose.
For me some days are just cupcake days...it's like people that can sense when it is going to rain, I can sense when a cupcake needs to be made. This weekend is a cupcake weekend. I am leaning towards the chocolate cake with coconut icing ones in the picture above because they are just about the most delicious cupcakes on the planet. I think this time I will add some chopped almonds on top to make them officially "Almond Joy Cupcakes". But there are other options. One of my cupcake cookbooks has a recipe for Top Hats which are chocolate cupcakes with a huge swirl of marshmallow icing on them that are dipped in a chocolate sauce that hardens as it cools...HELLO! Yup, that one is on the list. And I still need to figure out my failed red velvet recipe. Either way cupcakes and Laura will be together this weekend and if that doesn't make me happy then nothin' will.

*Side note: A couple of people have emailed me asking where I get the cupcake papers for my cupcakes. I get them here. They are called Nut and Party cups. Enjoy!

Morning email

L: Hey cutie
W: Hi. What's up?
L: What time did you leave this morning?
W: Before 6. I wanted to get some extra hours to make Friday easier on you
L: I rolled over for a snuggle and got a cat cleaning herself
W: Nothing in the world says "this is not the time to snuggle" quite
like a wet cat butt being licked
L: Amen to that. By way she was sitting on your pillow.

Two months in advance, but don't forget:

I want to make and decorate sugar cookies

I want to clean my house listening to Christmas carols

I want to go on a Christmas-light drive with my sisters

I want to make a stocking stuffer for everyone

I want to find the perfect ornament for Henry

I want to fall asleep on the sofa with the Christmas lights on

I want to make a gingerbread house

I want to volunteer at LINK

I want to make a gumdrop wreath for our front door

I want to keep an advent calendar

I want to make homemade peppermint marshmallows to drink in my hot cocoa

You can't hang

I stayed up until 1:00 last night sewing Henry's Christmas stocking. I was sitting on the sofa in a calf length pink flowered night gown wearing my glasses with one arm and huge green wool socks, sewing a tiny snowman. At about 11:00 Wade came in and said he wasn't rock and roll enough to stay up as late as I do. I threw him some horns and started working on the snowman's tiny mitten. I am a bad ass.

Um...yum!

One of the very wonderful things about eating a plant based diet is that you instantly get more of what all of need to be getting more of....plants. Tonight for dinner I did a vegan take on a chicken noodle soup with dumplings. It had no chicken and no noodles and it was loaded full of veggies and it tasted better than any chicken noodle soup with dumplings I have ever had. This recipe came from a cookbook purchased during a moment of weakness at Amazon. It has leeks, carrots, onions, potatoes and peas, and then me being unable to stick with a recipe even when it is my first time making it...I threw in some kale. I will do anything to sneak some kale into my son's diet. Henry thought it was good at first. That seems to be how it goes lately. The first few bites go down great and then he decides that the peas should not be touching the carrots and the beans should not be touching the dumpling and the whole thing goes array.
Anyway, Kelly, I am making this for you. One batch of this would last you a month :)

YELLOW

Our little maple tree out front, well I should really say little I think it is actually the second biggest tree on the block after the tree in our side yard (one of the perks of owning an old house) but anyway, our little tree is coming around slowly. The rest of Lawrence is ablaze with beautiful oranges and reds while our little tree trugs along...mostly green still with just specks of yellow.

Friday Five

Things that come easy to me....
1) Parallel parking
2) Memorizing song lyrics
3) Forgiveness
4) Laughter
5) Giving my opinion

Things that I am not so good at…
1) Public Speaking
2) Singing without going flat (doesn’t stop me though)
3) Phonics
4) Riding in airplanes
5) Picking up after myself

Give me what you got.....

Things that make me happy Thursday

I had my third exam today. I’ve realized why it is much much better to finish college as a young person. Frankly, I just don’t have time for this crap. Everyday I have a choice-jump in the leaves with my son and husband or study how the notochord forms in chick embryos….it’s a no brainer. So, again the exam creeps up on me and again I go in unprepared and only half invested. Whatever, I don’t think I failed it and that is good enough for me….I guess that is a function of age too, I really could care less if I get an A or C I just want to pass it and knock one more shitty class off the list so I can finish up this seemingly never-ending college experience. But the exam is over and we only have 8 classes left in the semester. And that makes me happy.

Preparing for an exam is stressful but it’s hard to be too bummed about it. I woke up this morning feeling a little more rested, went to bed early and my hubby took care of Henry’s nighttime calls so that I could be rested for my test. On our drive to Gigi and Grandpa’s this morning Henry was cracking me up talking about how he needs more Mentholatum (I don’t even know how to spell it so I really can’t figure out how a not-quite-2-year-old could figure out how to say it). The cool air met the warm river water and caused a light fog to form over the river making our drive over the bridge this morning quite lovely. The sun rising in the background and the red, yellow and orange trees with the fog was picturesque and made me wish that I had my camera, but a photo couldn’t have captured how lovely it was in real life, so instead we just drove really slow and I explained the “smoke on river?” to Henry. I love that I can finally have conversations with this kid. I remember not quite 2 years ago looking at him and wishing I could understand what he needed, now he can tell me what he needs (apparently today it's Mentholatum) and that makes me happy.

Once we got off the bridge I turned up NPR just in time for Carl Kasell to tell us that the Phelps clan might just be getting a tiny slice of what they deserve from a family in Baltimore. Apparently they protested at the funeral of a soldier who was killed in Iraq and the father of that soldier sued them and won-$11 million dollars in damages. The family will of course fight the ruling but you know, I am eternally optimistic and believe that people who fill their lives full of hate will eventually get their come-up-ins. Karma will get ya. The Phelps are disgusting human beings that ooze a message of hate so foul and hurtful that $11 million doesn’t even really touch it but it’s a start and quite frankly I am just thrilled that someone had the guts to stand up to them. And this makes me very happy.